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Diem Jokes

Carpe Diem is a great motto and all...

but if you seize everyday, you probably have epilepsy

A fisherman is looking for an extra set of hands on his boat ...

He goes into town to try and hire some help. He meets a man and asks him if he'd be interested in a job on his boat. The man replies "I'd definitely be interested, what does it pay?" The fisherman replies "I don't have a lot of cash, but I can pay you one fish per day." The man immediately respo...

What did the spontaneous rug peddler say?

Carpet Diem

I get confused with these Latin phrases.

Is it carpe tunnel or per diem?

The time change totally messed with me and I thought I wasted 7 hours browsing Reddit

Turns out it was only 6 hours wasted, carpé diem!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two buddies are drinking at a bar..

.. having a good time. The older man mentions that he needs some relationship advice, that he has a big-time crush but isn't sure if they reciprocate.

The younger guy encourages him, saying he just needs to communicate it or maybe booze dat ass up and see where things go.

The older gu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Funny but old fake adopt an Enron Exec email from way back.

Remember that whole Enron Scandal? I was looking through some old computer back up disks and found this. Probably wont be funny to younger kids but some old farts like me might get a chuckle:


**Adopt an Enron Executive**

Dear kind-hearted friends...Now that the holiday season has p...

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