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My favourite joke to perform. Terrible accent recommended.

Pierre, zee French fighter pilot is with his amour.

"Oh, Pierre, I want you to kiss me", she exclaims.

And so he tilts her chin up and leans in, but just before he plants a kiss on her lips, he pours a little red wine on them, and then goes in for the kiss.

"Oh, Pierre, mon di...

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A woman is getting her home remodeled.

On the final day, she meets the designer on her front porch. He says, "Bonjour madam, are you ready to see your new home?"

They enter the house, and into the living room. It's stunning, but she's distracted by the coffee table.

"Everything is perfect," she says, "except for the c...

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A nun, a hot blonde, a German and a Frenchman are sitting in a train compartment.

They don‘t know each other and are minding their own business. The train drives into a tunnel and it gets so dark in the compartment that you could not see your own hand in front of your eyes.

Suddenly a violently loud slapping noise rips into the silence. When the train leaves the tunnel ev...

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Once, there was a French battle pilot, named Jean-Pierre

(I recommend reading the joke in a heavy French accent)

After the war, Jean-Pierre returned to live in Paris, above a local pub.

One night, he noticed a gorgeous blonde Parisian and went to flirt with her, which went well.

After a while of flirting, the blonde told Jean-Pierre,...

Justin Trudeau walks into a Royal Bank to cash a cheque.

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, Ma'am, could you please cash this cheque for me?"
Cashier: "It would be my pleasure sir. Could you please show me your ID?"
Trudeau: "Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Justin Trudeau, t...

A Frenchman was visiting Texas for the first time and was staying at a nice hotel in Houston...

In the bar he sat next to a cowboy and couldn't help but notice the size of the burger the man was eating. "Mon dieu - how big is your burger! And your beer!". "Yeah, " said the Texan. "Everything in Texas is big. Our houses, our trucks, our horses, our wives. Even our generosity!" With that he boug...

A Frenchman and an Englishman have a bet over who is the most virile

A Frenchman and an Englishman on a business trip start talking at a pub and pretty soon the conversation turns to which one of them is the most virile. They decide to make a bet. Each one will pick up a woman at the bar, take her back to his hotel room, and in the morning they will compare notes to ...

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a German walk into a forest

Suddenly, they see a bear. The Frenchman says, "Mon Dieu!". The Englishman says "Oh my god!". They look at the silent German. "Why haven't you said anything", they ask. He replies, "God is dead".

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had been hunting together ever since they were kids.

Squirrel, rabbit, quail, deer, you name it - cleaned and on the table. Now old men, Thibodeaux had developed a habit that greatly annoyed ol' Boudreaux... he would wander off, find a nice comfy spot to rest, and fall asleep, leaving Boudreaux to wander the woods looking for his friend.

Well, ...

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