Jerry Clower joke (Uncle Vercy`s Trial)

Since I couldn't find this joke in text form anywhere I took the time to type it out myself lol (No Spell Check)

Flew from Los Angeles California to Des Moines did a show there in the civic center. Then to Minneapolis Minnesota, Its 28 Degrees below 0 I slept between the mattresses. Then I l...

[NSFW] Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight.

They got off at Quality Street.

He asked her name. ‘Polo, I’m the one with the hole’ she said with a Wispa.

‘I’m Marathon, the one with the nuts’ he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs, which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped hi...

A woman gets on a double decker bus.

She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.

The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says “bit airy up there ma’am”

To which she replies, “what’d you expect, feathers?”

40 blondes decided to tour London in a double Decker bus

The ones up on the top were terrified while the ones on the bottom were singing and partying. Finally the tour guide went up to the top to ask why they weren't happy like the others. One of the blondes said, "that's easy for you to say, you have a driver!"

I wanted a new drill for my birthday, so when my wife asked, I told her to get a Black and Decker...

She's due in court next week on a racially-aggravated assault charge.

Two blondes walk onto a double decker bus

This one's a classic I heard years ago from my grandma and I still enjoy hearing and telling.

So two blondes are traveling in London together and decide to get onto a double decker bus to reach their next stop. However, the bus is so crowded that one of the friends has to sit on the bottom of...

I'd never been on a London double decker, didn't have any money but told the driver I was dying to get on

He looked me dead in the eye and said "Life isn't fare."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is flying on the same plane as Brooklyn Decker...

...and it crashes in the ocean near a remote island. The man and Brooklyn Decker swim to shore and are the only survivors. They immediately find food and build shelter. With nothing else to do, they begin having sex.

They are having sex multiple times a day for over two weeks, until one day B...

A Joke for those of you across the Pond.

I feel like the double decker bus is a bad invention for one reason. Well, more like three reasons. It is the only time where you can get in a car crash, fall down the stairs, and be in England at the same time.

Two bowling teams, one made up of all blondes and the other one of all brunettes...

reserve a double-decker bus for a weekend tournament.

The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus and the blonde team rides on the top level.

The brunette team down below is whooping it up and having a great time when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blond...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Blonde Phone Call to Mom

Hi Mom, it's me.
"Hi Sally, are you okay?
I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware store, looking for a drill."

"Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you."

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"Oh, I punch...

What is Chris Brown's favorite cooking appliance?

A Black and Decker

I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at Home Depot.

My wife told me to find a Black N' Decker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar for a drink...

...up on the top floor of a fancy building. He sits down at the bar and orders a high end beer. As he's drinking, he notices a bum sitting in a dark corner at the end of the bar starring at him. He gives the bum a dirty look and shakes his head before returning to his drink. Suddenly the bum yells t...

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