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Dark Humour Jokes

Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]

9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little bit of dark humour for you!

The FBI had an open position for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were completed, they had narrowed the field down to 3 possible agents. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will ...

Dark humour

What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo

DARK humour

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared.

" The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back ALONE."

Dark Humour is like anti-vax families

There’s usually a dead baby.

Kid : Mom, what's dark humour

Mom : Do you see that man without arms over in that corner? Tell him to clap.

Kid : Mom!!! I'm blind

Mom : Exactly

Dark humour is like a child with cancer

It never gets old.

More dark humour

After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, “Ma’am, I’ve got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?” After quickly thinking it over, she responds, “I’ll have the bad news first doctor”. The doctor replies, “We’ll, I’m not sure how to put this, and I’m sorry to ...

Dark humour joke

Kobe Bryant missed a shot because of the flash of a camera.

To stop this from happening again, he stared at the sun for 8 hours to train his eyes.

It’s a shame he couldn’t see the mountain.

Dark Humour isn’t that popular anymore....

Is my way of telling my Black Friend he’s not funny.

Tried dark humour last night.

Nobody could see the punchline

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dark humour is more like bad food

...It makes you feel funny but you also know something's wrong with you on the inside now.

The upside is that if you can handle it you'll be shitting yourself and those who can't handle it will throw up with disgust.

A child asked his mom what dark humour was. She said “You see that man in the wheelchair? Ask him to do stand-up comedy.”

The child answered “But mom, I’m blind!”

[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby?

Quite a mouthful.

Hey, I like dark humour, I can't help myself. Last week I saw a video of a kid getting hit by a car and just BURST out laughing...

The police officers didn't seem impressed but I just told them, "you had to be there".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How can you tell the difference between Japanese people and other Asian people?

Use a Geiger counter

*Credit: my friend who has a lot of dark humour

My friend got offended when I insulted his broken lamp...

Then again dark humour isn't his thing

Dave’s military experience

Dave just got a promotion in the army, but unfortunately this new position put him at the forefront of bearing the bad news. After 30 days in service, he is informed by HR that John’s wife died, and he should inform him kindly of the event.
Next day at morning call, Dave goes :
-John, your wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man lost an arm...

A dark humoured joke told to me by an old fellow, so ye have been warned:

A man had lost an arm.
He grew extremely depressed because of this, to the point where he was prepared to kill himself.
The noose was set, but out the window something caught his eye:
A man with no arms, and he...

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