UPJOKE
wembley stadiumsoccerfilmcinematicfilmmakingfilmmakerfilmymicrofilmtelefilmfilmographyprojectionistpelliclecinematographmoviefinal

Cup Final Jokes

What do you call an American in the world cup final.

Ref

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy replies, "Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man says back, "That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come wi...

It’s the World Cup Final...

And a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbour if someone will be sitting there. ‘No,’ says the neighbour. ‘The seat is empty.’

‘This is incredible,’ said the man. ‘Who in their righ...

We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final.

But instead we got a Messi one.

Congrats to Argentina.

A man is sitting alone at the World Cup Final when another guy approaches him.

He asks 'Is this seat taken?'

The man replies 'No it's free'

The other man says 'Who would miss their chance to see the World Cup Final??'

The man replies 'It's actually my wife's, she passed away and this is my first World Cup without her.'

'Oh man, you didn't find any f...

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.

"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.

"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

So the Irish are playing against the English in the World Cup Final, being held in Paris.

Three Irish and three English fans are waiting at the airport to get the train to the stadium.

The three English fans go up to the ticket counter and buy one ticket each. The three Irish fans go up to the counter and buy only one ticket. The English fans see this and one asks the Irish, " Ho...

The Stanley Cup Finals left me so angry last night..

I demand capital punishment.

Two men are sat at a cup final with an empty seat between them.....

The younger man says " I cant believe there is an empty seat here on a match of this importance"

"It was my wife seat, but she recently passed away" replied the older guy.

"oh im sorry to hear that, didnt you have any friends or family that wanted to come with you today?" Said the youn...

The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit...

Against Las Vegas.

I bought a ticket to world cup finals without realizing it’s also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place?

The church is St Antony’s and the brides’ name is Joanna..

Navajo Memory Man

Bob the scouser goes on a driving tour of the US, and on his travels comes across a Navajo reservation advertising "The world famous memory man - ask any question and he will know the answer"

Bob goes up to the edge of the canyon and finds a tribal elder sitting cross legged watching the suns...

A friend has 2 tickets in a corporate box for the World cup final game Sun 15th July He paid £500 each including flights but he didn't realise when he bought them months ago that it was going to be the same day as his wedding! He is looking for someone to take his place

It's at Sheffield Town Hall at 4pm. Her name is Nicola -- she's 5'4", about 8 stone, quite pretty, has her own income and is a really good cook. Message me for more details.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Memory Man

An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man.
“That’s the Memory Man.” sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

7 hilarious jokes

A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says ...

Spelling Bee

It's cup final day and three boys in the class want to go home early to watch the match.

The teacher decides to hold a spelling bee and allow the boys who spell their words correctly to leave school for the day to see their team.

Tommy, spell dog for me please.

Easy sir, D-O-G.<...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.