UPJOKE
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Did you hear about what happened at the Walmart in El Paso, Texas?

The Walmart that got turned into a Target.

A cowboy is sitting in a saloon...

when he looks out the window and notices his horse has been stolen. He turns around and shouts out to the rest of bar, "Alright, looks like one of you mangey dogs done stole my horse. Now, I'm going to go take a leak. And when I get back, my horse better be back outside... or else I'm going to have ...

A film is to be made about the shootings last month in the El Paso Walmart.

The Texas Chain Store massacre.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some truckers have a dog for company...

A trucker is driving West across Texas, haulin' a trailer full of chickens, with his pet parrot in the cab. While driving through Dallas he sees a beautiful woman on the side of road, leg hiked up, thumb out. He stops and looks at her. "Where ya headed?" He asks. "Headed to California." She says gra...

Survivor: Texas Edition

Due to the popularity of the "Survivor" shows, Texas is planning to do one entitled: "Survivor - Texas Edition".

The lucky contestants will all start in Dallas then drive a circuit to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, Houston, Brownsville, Del Rio, El Paso, Odessa, Midland, Lubbock, Amarillo, Abilen...

Jim the security Guard is working at the Mexican/American border, and stops a car at a checkpoint.

The driver shows the guard his license, visa, and passport, but is clearly nervous and is sweating bullets. Jim pops the trunk open to reveal four large bags. He opens them, only to reveal that each and everyone of them is filled with dirt.



One week later, Jim stops the same driver. O...

An old trucker

An old trucker rolls in to a truck stop in El paso. He finds the manager of the restaurant there and tells him "Here's a hundred dollar bill. I want the ugliest woman you can find to serve me a burnt bologna sandwich."

The manager says "Sir, for a hundred bucks we'll serve you the finest stea...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

TEXAS SURVIVOR

Texas is trying to capitalize on the popularity of the show "Survivor" by hosting its own version.

Contestants will have to drive from Amarillo and visit checkpoints in the following cities, Lubbock - Dallas - Waco - Austin - Houston - Laredo - San Antonio - El Paso and finish back in Amari...

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