Congregant Jokes - 10 Hilarious Congregant Jokes

The congregation discovered the minister was having an affair with a married congregant

Apparently they found his vest in her pantry and her pants in his vestry.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A prominent local pastor drives a young female congregant to a remote spot ...

... he starts kissing and feeling her up, then he starts feeling around under her skirt. Just then, the police arrive.

Cop: "I see what you're doing. She's underage. Get out of the car now."

Pastor: "But officer! I'm Pastor Fluff!"

Cop: "I don't give a fuck if you're up her ass,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman went to a synagogue in Poland after the Holocaust to record the history that was nearly lost forever, where she found an unusual tradition she had never seen before.

At the synagogue, when they carried the Torah\*, they would bring it around to everyone who wanted to touch the Torah, which was normal. But when they brought the Torah down the center aisle, the carrier would get down on their knees and knee-walk all the way!

The woman had never heard of thi...

The talented pastor (nsfw)

Just heard Tom Rawson tell this one (he's mostly a singer, but he told a couple of jokes too):

A small-town preacher was proud of his ability to improvise a sermon on any topic, even if he knew nothing about it. He never prepared, just improvised on whatever came to his mind Sunday morning....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another World War II political joke that my grandfather told me.

You guys seem to like my last one so here's another one of my grandad's World War II jokes. Like I said I'll try to retell it like he did.

>There's this rabbi sitting down at a cafe reading a newspaper. One of his congregants notices that he's reading the Daily Stormer, which was the Nazi ...

A Bar opened opposite a Mosque!

The angry congregants of the Mosque prayed daily against the business....

Days later the Bar was struck by lightning and caught fire . The Bar owner sued the Mosque authorities for the cause , as an action by their prayer...

The Mosque denied all responsibility!

So, the judge...

The gift.

Knowing that the minister had a very sore throat, an elderly woman presented him with a bottle of cherry brandy.

"This is quite soothing,” the woman said, "but please don’t tell anyone I gave you liquor. Everyone thinks I am teetotaler."

"I understand," replied the good man.

...

The existencial sermon

A priest is giving a sermon to his congregation. He starts off pretty upbeat, and then part of the way through says "and just remember, everyone in this congregation is going to die"
Everyone thinks it's kind of weird but they shrug it off. He says it again "every member of this congregation will...

@theRiver

A pastor was completing a sermon on abstaining from drinking alcohol.

With great expression, he said, ‘If I had all of the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.’

With even greater emphasis, he said, ‘And if I had all of the wine in the world, I’d take it and ...

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic

A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.

The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.