UPJOKE
united kingdomchristmasaustraliacanadapaperboardtoyplasticmottojokeriddlenew zealandpapersouth africasaturnaliacap gun

Christmas Crackers Jokes

What do journalists like to find inside their Christmas crackers?

A pull-it surprise.

It's the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.

The real joke is in the comets

What Do You Call A Line Of Men Waiting For A Haircut?

A Barbecue.

Christmas crackers are just full of laughs.

A jockey was riding the favourite at a race meeting, and was well ahead of the field.

His horse rounded the final corner, when suddenly the jockey was hit on the head by a turkey and a string of sausages.

He managed to keep control of his mount and pulled back into the lead, only to be struck by a box of Christmas crackers and a dozen mince pies as he went over the last fence....

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved.

Christmas crackers are the worst.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.