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Chris Pratt Jokes

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Chris Pratt, Jesus, and Hitler are sitting in a bar...

Jesus, Chris Pratt, and Hitler are sitting at a bar drinkin' a few brews.

Jesus says, "Hey we should all try and get in the Guinness Book of World Records!"

To which Chris Pratt replies, "Yeah, I bet I could get in it for most loved person in history."

Jesus then says, "and I be...

Chris pratt came up on the news

My dad said "y'know it's sad"



I replied "what's wrong"


He said "that someone could name their son Crisp Rat "

What happens when you put Chris Pine, Chris Hemsworth, Chris Reeve, Chris Pratt and Chris Evans in the same room?

A Chrisis

Nintendo has explicitly banned Chris Pratt from using method acting for the Mario movie

They have warned him that eating shrooms on set is both unprofessional and illegal.

Did you hear about the new spin-off/crossover series starring Chris Pratt?

It’s called Parks and Rex

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call Chris Pratt before he turns into a butterfly?

A Pratt-erpillar.

Who is a deep fried rodent’s favourite actor?

Chris Pratt

A rodent fell into a vat of hot cooking oil.

It turned into a Chris Pratt

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeff Goldblum is a given a chance to go back to Jurassic Park

Against all advice he decides to go and is airdropped from a plane on the island. On his way down he gets awe struck by the beauty of it all and forgets to chute till it's too late.

Luckily he ends up landing on something soft and squishy. After a brief moment of relief he realizes he's stuck...
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