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Carpool Lane Jokes

I got pulled over in the carpool lane.

Cop: Where's your passenger?

Me: Due to social distancing they're in the car behind me.

Cop pulled me over & ticketed me driving alone in carpool lane.

Jokes on him, once I open the trunk!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex in the carpool lane...

Now I'm HOV Positive.

I got pulled over in the carpool lane today

The cop said I can't be driving in this lane without anyone else in my car, but the joke's on him. The trunk is full of people.

A driver gets pulled over for improper use of a carpool lane..

Cop: "Carpool lane is 2 or more passengers and I don't see your second passenger."

Driver: "well I'm just beside myself."

A Southern Sheriff is driving down a secluded section of highway

when he sees what looks like a naked man peeing on a tree. He pulls over and walks up to the man and realizes he is tied to the tree.

The man smiles broadly and says,. "Oh thank God you showed up. You wouldn't believe the day I'm having. First my alarm clock didn't go off so I woke up late...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just found out my wife has been cheating

There's no way she could make it home that quick after fucking her boss unless she was using the carpool lane.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ponderisms:

Can you cry under water?







How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?







Why do you have to "put your two cents in".. But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra p...

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