What did Wendy do when Captain Hook frightened her?
Peter Pans
What did Captain Hook say when he broke up with his girlfriend?
"It's not you, it's Smee."
What is Captain Hook’s least favorite online trend?
TikTok
What’s Captain Hook’s favorite style of comedy?
Deadpan
What social media does Captain hook hate?
Tik-tok
Why did Captain Hook post help wanted posters everywhere?
Because he was short-handed.
Captain Hook ordered a new prosthetic hand online.
It was off the hook
I feel sad that Captain Hook never made it to Admiral
I guess it didn’t Pan out for him.
Which type of shoes does Captain Hook avoid wearing?
Crocs
I read a joke about an alternate ending to Peter Pan where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter Pan back to London in a body bag.
Not very funny and quite dark, but it requires a dead Pan delivery
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Captain Hook is claiming that he was sexually assaulted by his first mate some years ago.
It's a classic case of he said, Smee said.
Captain Hook: arrrg I miss Vine. twas me fav'rite app
Smee: but capn! there's a new app! it aint exactly the same, but tis very similar!
Captain Hook: what's it called?
Smee: Umm
In 1985, new wave band, A-Ha, wrote a song for a new Broadway version of Peter Pan that was never used. In the musical, Tinkerbell was supposed to sing to Peter, urging him to try and fight Captain Hook’s right hand man with the intent of demoralizing Hook and his pirate crew...
Taaaaake oooooon Smeeeee
I asked Peter Pan how Captain Hook would vent his frustration.
"Beat Smee," he replied.
"Oh, sorry." I said. "I thought you'd know."
Peter Pan and Captain Hook agree to a truce. (LONG)
After years upon years of fighting, kidnapping/fairynapping, and pilfering, the two rivals decide to agree to a truce, as both are realizing that their hearts are no longer in the fight. They agree that Pan and the Lost Boys will stay mostly on the mainland, and Hook and the Pirates will stay out to...
Why does Captain Hook not have children ?
Because he once scratched his balls
How does Captain Hook warm his Greek food?
Pita Pan
TIL: Captain Hook ran an entire pirate ship.
He did it single handedly too.
He was a bit out of breath afterwards though.
In 1969, the Beatles originally wrote one of their hit songs for a Broadway version of Peter Pan. Captain Hook’s right hand man wanted to Broker a truce that would give Hook the ability to fly and give Peter and the Lost Boys safety from pirates. It ended with a big event where Hook and Peter flew..
Come together, right now... over Smee.
The Captain's Drink
Captain Hook, Captain Crunch, and Captain America walk into a bar. Hook says, "Ahoy mates, I'll buy the first round. Just let me go to the bathroom real quick." The others wait and when Hook comes back Captain America asks, "Hey Hook, how bout those drinks?" Hook yells, "Shove it up yer sta...
Why did Peter Pan know he could beat Captain Hook in poker?
Peter knew Captain Hook had lost at least one hand.
What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor?
Dead Pan.
What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?
The second hand shop.
The last joke I heard from my grandfather before he passed away. Paraphrased because it was so long ago. Still my favorite joke.
You know, I wasn't always the strong Christian man I am today. I was a little wild before I met your gram, but we all have club stories, right? Some better than others, but they're all an important part of our history. Anyway, one night I went out to a club. It was a weeknight, so it wasn't like it ...
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