Three roughnecks - John, Lonnie, and Donnie - were working on a rig in the oilfield...
While they were working one day, John falls off the derrick (the rig tower) and is killed instantly. As the ambulance picks up his dead body and drives away, Lonnie says, "Somebody needs to go and tell his wife." Donnie replied, "I'll do it. I'm good with this sensitive stuff."
...
A police officer pulled over a roughneck (an oilfield worker) over for speeding. Here's what happened...
**Officer:** May I see your driver's license?
**Roughneck:** I don't have one - I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
**Officer:** May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
**Roughneck:** It's not my bike. I stole it.  ...
Two oilfield workers from North Dakota were on a trip to South Texas...
They went to sign on with a new drilling contractor when they were pulled over by a State Trooper.
The trooper walked up and tapped on the driver-side window with his nightstick.
The roughneck rolled down the window and *WHACK* - the trooper smacked him in t...
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