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Breaking Point Jokes

My son calling me dad was my breaking point

I finally shaved my legs

Three bulls

Three bulls heard that the rancher was going to bring yet another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.

First Bull: "Boys, we all know I've been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine. Now, I don't know ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Aliens invade earth

A flying saucer comes down one day. A group of heavily armed, green-skinned extraterrestrials disembark carrying enormous weapons.

One opens his mouth and announces "Greetings Earthlings! You have 72 hours to bring us your world leader! If he finds favor in our eyes, you will be spared. If ...

Election Day was the perfect day to go see Doctor Strange...

I got to experience a scary bizarro world were sanity was cast aside and the laws of nature were twisted to the breaking point, and I also went to a movie.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nurse goes to the bank...

...after a long shift at the hospital. She has a check to cash.

She goes up to the counter, pulls the check out and then looks for a pen in her pocket. She begins to sign the check but then realizes its not a pen. The banker looks quizzicly at her. Its a rectal thermometer. The nurse is at he...

A British fellow just doesn't understand why people like cricket.

He tries, he tries so hard. He knows it's his national sport. He also doesn't care much for football and rugby, and always feels left out at the pub. Then one day, he comes in early for a pint, and there's this strange game on the screen. "What's that game up there, Albert?" Albert looks baffled, "w...

A Dutch man goes to a cobbler

Wanting his wooden clogs fixed.

“What’s wrong with them?” asks the shop owner.

“Well you see,” says the Dutchman, “these are my work boots. They’re getting worn out and have some holes in them. Could you fix them up?”

The owner had never fixed wooden shoes, but he figured it ...

Lieutenant Dan has to deliver bad news.

One day, from the office of the General of the Army comes a letter for Lieutenant Dan bearing bad news. Private John's wife had passed away in a horrible car accident.

The General strongly suggested that breaking the news lightly to John would be course of action.
Lieutenant Dan, with hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's this guy Doug.

There's this guy Doug and he just moved into this new neighborhood. He asks his neighbor down the street if there's any places he should check out.

"Well dude I know of this one place down on 36th where you can pay $20 to have five guys kick the hell of you. It's painful at first but afterwar...

Centuries upon centuries ago, a group of nuns lived in a secluded convent deep in the woods.

Centuries upon centuries ago, a group of nuns lived in a secluded convent deep in the woods. The convent provided all of their basic needs: cows for milk, sheep for cheese, grain for bread, and even bees for honey. However, one day a deadly plague swept through the land, infecting all of the siste...
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