My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.
Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids ar...
Bob the sheepdog was getting the sheep in for Farmer Fred. He completed his task and went bounding over to the Farmer shouting “Farmer Fred, Farmer Fred…. I chased 40 sheep in to the yard for you”. “40 sheep?” queries Farmer Fred. “I’ve only got 37”
“I know” says Bob. “I rounded them up”
One morning, an atheist was walking through a beautiful forest
He looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled
He saw the river glisten and the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside
He thought to himself: "what a beautiful world mother nature has created"
The atheist had walked a little fu...
Why I Fired My Secretary
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alon...
This is the only joke I know. Spooktober appropriate.
A cemetery caretaker is feeling ill after a long day's work and decides to head into town to get some medicine before going to bed.
It is still pretty light out and the drug store is only a few miles from his house on the graveyard property, so he decides the walk might do him some good. ...
A man see's a guy throwing a ball for his dog at the park.
He throws the ball, the dog chases it but as he gets close to the ball he falls to the ground and starts choking. The owner doesn't seem too fazed and the man watching is about to rush to help the dog when the dog gets up, snatches the ball and brings it back to the owner. The owner throws the ball ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A woman decides to go on a photo safari in Africa. She takes her pet dachshund along for company.
One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies, and before long the little dog discovers it’s lost.
Suddenly the dog sees a hungry leopard bounding toward it. The dachshund thinks, I’m in deep trouble now!
But then it notices some bones on the ground and immediately settles down to ...
A nomad had been wandering the desert by foot for many years. He has saved up some money on his travels and decided that his walking days were over and it was time to buy a camel.
He went to the nearest camel ranch and asked the ranch owner what type of camel he could get for the money he had. "I am sorry," said the rancher "that's not even enough for the cheapest camel." The nomad looked forlorn until the rancher said "we do have this one camel though, we weren't going t...