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Blurry Jokes

Why was the naked man blurry?

>!Over exposure!<

My girlfriend tried to take a selfie in the shower, but it was too blurry.

She has selfie steam issues.

I uploaded a picture of a walnut but people complained that it was too blurry.

Now I have to deal with the nut post clarity.

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I don't know what STD causes blurry genitals...

But Japan seems to have an epidemic of it.

An engineer had a sign in front of his clinic that said, "Medical consultation for only $50. If I can't make you better, I will pay you $100."

A doctor, knowing he can stump the engineer and wanting to get some cash, goes straight to the engineer. "Hey," he says. "I lost my sense of taste. I can't taste any food anymore."

The engineer takes a small bottle from his drawer, told the doctor to take his tongue out, and put 15 drops of t...

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Dave's wife is out for the night and he decides to eat some shrooms. He passes out and wakes up at the pearly gates of heaven.

St Peter greets him and explains that he's actually died from eating some bad shrooms. However, if he makes dinner for Jesus and his 12 disciples *AND* they happen to like it, he'll be revived back on earth.

He enters a huge kitchen, packed with every kind of ingredient imaginable. Dave coul...

Why do narcissists take blurry photos ?

They can only focus on themselves

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Did you know if you photograph your butt the picture will never come out blurry?

Hindsight is always 20/20.

My friend has a habit of taking blurry pictures of himself in the bathroom mirror after taking hot showers...

I thunk he has a high selfie steam problem.

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A joke I made up that's funny only when you look back at it.

This guy shows up to his optometrist and says "I have a weird problem",



The Optometrists replies, "What seems to be the trouble?"



The guys says, "Everything's blurry. My vision is horrible!"



"That's pretty common", the Optometrist replies. "We can certai...

Pill commercials nowadays be like

“After just one use, derpatine fixed my knee pain and I can run again!”

“Consult a doctor if you’re experiencing any headaches, nausea, muscle pain, blurry vision, nasal congestion, loss of sight, kidney failure, hernia, heart attacks, strokes or knee pain after using derpatine”

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What does Bill Cosby’s penis look like?

Blurry.

Why I am the way I am

My children asked me once why I am the way I am. So I told them.

One day, shortly after my first child was born, I came across an old lamp in a bundle of baby clothes. I wiped the lamp off, and a genie appeared and offered me three wishes. "But," the genie added, "your wishes will come with a...

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Internet speed world record broken in Japan with 319Tb/s data transer speed

But still the contents will be blurry

I thought I was losing my eyesight while scrolling Reddit in the middle of the night.

Apparently there are a lot of blurry images if you're sorted by New in All at 3 in the am.

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time, there was a young man named Done. He was born and raised in the town of Moroccan. Done wasn't very smart, and he was always teased by his peers when he expressed his desire to become a doctor, especially by a disliked and harsh-tempered teacher who would yell at him, "You drive me ...

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Once had sex with an japenese girl

it all seems a bit blurry when i think back about it

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Why can’t you have sex in Japan?

Because your dick gets blurry.

It's a great time to be an introvert.

I've been practicing social distancing for so long that Sasquatch has a blurry picture of me hanging on his wall.

A man goes to his friend for a free eye-test...

On the first visit he tells him:


"My eyesight has been blurry recently and my eyes are getting more painful"


"Don't worry, it's probably nothing. It'll get better on its own," says the friend, without examining him.


On the second visit he tells his friend his v...

Hot Shower Pics

I was trying to take a picture of myself in the shower but I couldn't get a good one. The pictures kept coming out blurry.

I guess I have selfie steam issues.

I saw avengers endgame today, I want my money back.

The last 20 minutes were blurry as hell.

I received a letter from my opticians, but I’m concerned about their printer....

Either it’s failing or they used a blurry font. So weird.

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Showed the wife some Japanese porn...

She said, "I haven't seen a cunt that blurry since you stole my glasses."

This super power is terrible...

Supposedly I can see 60 years into the future, but it is worthless because everything is so blurry. I mean, how does the eye doctor even know I am seeing 2080?

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(OC) A Hippie walks by a businessman...

A Hippie is walking by and sees a businessman looking over some construction that had been started on a plot of land. The Hippie is alarmed and exclaims "What are you doing?!"

The businessman responds by saying that this piece of land was bought by his company. The land was good and the found...

I work in a mirror factory

I broke a polishing machine a few days ago and my boss told me to reflect on what I've done.

I told him I couldn't because the mirrors were too blurry but I'll polish on my actions

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Guy walks into a bar and asks for a beer

The bartender asks him "Heineken or Carlsberg?" the guy chooses a carlsberg, drinks 10, walks out and passess out on his stomach on the sidewalk.
A priest goes by, sees the guy with his ass cracking through his pants, can't resist his urges and proceeds to molest the guy.

After a few hours...

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I found the one

When I saw her my knees got weak and my vision got blurry. That's when I realized I drunk the wrong glass.

Two drunks are in a bar and one says to the other

Don’t drink anymore – you’re becoming blurry.

Ford Focus

Sitting in traffic today waiting for the light to change. The car in front of us was a Ford Focus. I turned to my daughter and said.. if that driver opens her door and steps out of the car, does she get all blurry? Because if she did, wouldn't she be "out of Focus" ?

A man went to a psychic who told him he will die that day.

The psychic warned the man: "It's blurry. But... I see flames. Avoid them! And rocks! Avoid them if you want to live! I'm sorry." The man left anxious and grim. As he walked home, there was an explosion and his apartment building quickly burst into flames! He ran away as pieces of concrete and rocks...

A woman goes to the hospital to give birth

A woman goes to the hospital to give birth. A good while later, she finds herself pushing like crazy, to the support of the doctor and the nurses, the father being unknown. As the baby finally comes out, she faints, and sits unconscious for some time.

She wakes up a few minutes later, confuse...

POISON

A man goes to his priest and tells him that his wife is trying to poison him. The priest says, "Now, John, how do you know that?" John says, "Well, I have terrible headaches. My stomach is upset. I have no stamina and my legs are weak. My vision is blurry and I have lost my appetite. A month ago I w...

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My friend had a few tips for alcohol consumers

From my friend

To all self respecting alcohol consumers...Self Care tips....

1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the Drink on your feet).
Cure : Manoeuver glass until open end is facing upward...

2. Symptom : Th...

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