UPJOKE
ebolaelizatyphoidbeworsewertbeestwastexistentialhectareabealzheimersripoffpessimalexistent

Be Poor Jokes

I wish I could be poor one day

I am tired of being poor everyday

Steal a man’s wallet, and he’ll be poor for a day…

Teach him to play an instrument, and he’ll be poor for the rest of his life

Astrologists are said to be poor interpreters...

but they always find something, if it's any constellation.

Steal a man's wallet a day, he will be poor...

...for that day. Return it the next day with a poked hole in the condom from his wallet and he'll be poor for the rest of his life.

I used to be poor. Then I started singing on streets for donations.

Now I get donations to not sing on streets

I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus.

Now I'm impecunious.

[Motivation] Just because you were born in poverty, it doesn't mean that you'll be poor forever.

I was born in a hospital, yet I'm not a doctor.

My grammar may be poor, but my grilling is impeccable.

I'd steak my reputation on that.

Federal Budget

*Tonight's Federal Budget in a nutshell*: "We know that most of you are poor, but if you vote for us, you'll be slightly less poor for a few weeks, but then after a while, you'll just be poor again and we'll still be in power for another 4 years."

If I got a dollar for every 2020 vision joke I‘ve read today, I’d still be poor.

I don‘t sort by new.

For richer or poorer

I asked my wife if she'd be interested in investing some of her money in stocks, like I invest mine.

She responded: "No, because if you'll get rich, I'll be rich, too."

So I asked her if the reverse is also true. Her response was:

"Sure! If I'll become poor, you'll be poor, too...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

Apparently there are two rules to win in life...

1. Never be poor.
2. Never be ugly.

Well, the joke's on me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

He inquired, 'Where have you been?'
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, 'Look, Michael. Look what I've made.'
Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, 'What is it?'
'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In honor of Charles Dickens...

I am also going to be poor this Christmas

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If I had a dollar for every time the economy inflated...

I'd have an infinite amount of money, but i'll still be poor as fuck.

A man goes to a psychic

“What’s my fortune?” he asks

“You will be poor and miserable until you’re 35. Then you won’t be miserable.” replies the psychic

“What happens at 35?”

“You get used to it.”

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.