UPJOKE
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How to be insulting

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.

He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!"

She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?"

The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

A man flying on a plane noticed that this one woman in the other aisle had a terrible-looking baby.

Ugly baby. I mean, a bad-looking baby. The woman caught him staring, and she says, “What are you looking at?” He said, “I’m looking at that ugly baby. That’s a hell of a kid you got there. Don’t worry, no one will steal THAT baby.”

The woman took this as an offence. She calls for the st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was on his deathbed...

..and telling his 3 sons that they'd disappointed him and how
"You, first son - so obsessed by money, you married a woman called Penny"
"Second son - fat, obsessed with sweets, you married a girl called Kandi, dear god, what have I raised"
The third son stood up and said "Come on Fann...

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