UPJOKE
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Be Beat Jokes

My parents used to be beat me so hard

I thought the crack of a whip was my name.

I was gonna tell you the one about the necromancer who liked to abuse animals...

...but it'd just be beating a dead horse.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, ......

But, that would be beating a dead horse.

Why is a broken drum the best gift?

It can’t be beat

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The appliances in a sexy woman's bathroom start arguing...

It all started when the bathtub was bragging he gets to see her naked everyday.
The sink piped up, "That's nothing. Daily oral. What guy could ask for more?"
The toilet flushed, "Amateur. I get both holes. Anal multiple times a day."
The tub, feeling like he shouldn't be beat by the toile...

Thatll do it.

A man bought what he thought was a porcelain tea pot at a trader's market,when he finally made it home he was polishing it before putting it in his China cabinet. Smoke began pouring out of it and low and behold a genie appeared. The genie told the man he had three wishes,the only thing is your ex w...

My wife isn't into S&M. But I still love her...

she really can't be beat.

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