Nobody wants to die alone.

That's why I'm training for my pilot's license.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old woman wants to get married one last time so she doesn't die alone.

She takes out an ad in the paper that says, "I'm looking for a husband. You must not hit me, you must not walk out on me, and you must be good in bed. If you're interested, come by my house tomorrow so I can get to know you."

The next day, several men show up at her house, but none of them q...

Me: Yeah I'll probably die alone

Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone?



Me: Oh

I'm afraid to die alone.

So I became a bus driver.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hope I die alone.

I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.

My boss just said, "Everyone dies alone."

I told him, "you don't have to die alone, just get in your car and aim for a school bus."

What's a suicide bombers biggest fear?

To die alone.

Board Game Shop

Me: I want a dice.


Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.


Me: I want 2 die.


Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.


Me: I want 2 die alone.

I enjoy expensive whiskey the same way I enjoy beautiful women

By watching someone else and living vicariously through their experience in my imagination, even though I know I'll never have either and am likely to die alone and well hydrated, instead of in bed with a gorgeous woman and a hangover.

Just Kidding. The real answer is "With my face hole"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.