An old woman wants to get married one last time so she doesn't die alone.
She takes out an ad in the paper that says, "I'm looking for a husband. You must not hit me, you must not walk out on me, and you must be good in bed. If you're interested, come by my house tomorrow so I can get to know you."
The next day, several men show up at her house, but none of them q...
Nobody wants to die alone.
That's why I'm training for my pilot's license.
Me: Yeah I'll probably die alone
Waiter: No I said will you be dining alone?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I hope I die alone.
I mean, you'd have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
My friend told me he’s glad that he’s a bus driver so I said why and he said
“So I won’t have to die alone”.
What's a suicide bombers biggest fear?
To die alone.
I enjoy expensive whiskey the same way I enjoy beautiful women
By watching someone else and living vicariously through their experience in my imagination, even though I know I'll never have either and am likely to die alone and well hydrated, instead of in bed with a gorgeous woman and a hangover.
Just Kidding. The real answer is "With my face hole"
Board Game Shop
Me: I want a dice.
Clerk: The correct term is 'die'.
Me: I want 2 die.
Clerk: Plural is dice, alone it's die.
Me: I want 2 die alone.