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Barmen Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two scientists walk into a bar.

The barmen recieves them and asks for their order.

"Well, I'll have a glass of H2O", says the first scientist, giggling to his friend.

"Oh, then I'll have H20, too", says the other scientist, giggling at their inside joke.

The barmen brings their drinks, and they slowly starts s...

A man walks into a bar, he takes a seat and asks the barmen if he wanted to hear a blonde joke?

the barmen replies before you tell this joke I want to tell you something, see the women over there, she is a black belt in karate, she’s blonde , see the bouncer over there he is also a blonde, see the chick over there with that pool que she is also blonde, also I have a shotgun behind the bar i’m ...

A famous pub in Dublin...

There's a famous pub in Dublin, at the top of Camden Street, called the Bleeding Horse. One day, a Clydesdale horse trotted in and ordered a pint of Guinness and a packet of cheese and onion crisps. The barman was a little taken aback, but Dublin barmen are nothing if not professional, so he served ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

He orders 10 pints of beer. The barmen thinking there must be a group coming in services all the beers up.

The guy downs the all.

The guy then orders 10 ales. The barmen astounded as the guy downs all of them again, and still standing.

The guy orders 10 pints of Guinness. Same a...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first orders a pint, the second orders half a pint, then a quarter, then an eight...

Eventually the barmen hands over two pints saying "you mathematicians, you just don't know your limits"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar.

He says to the barmen, “Can I have a pint of beer please?”

The barman replies “Look mate, we don’t serve horses.”

The horse leaves.

The next day the horse walks in and says to the Barman “Can I have a pint of beer please mate?”

The barmen replies “Look mate I’ve told you!...

Beer Prayer

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillage,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarcerati...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Nazi agent is supposed to pick up some docs from a resident agent in London during WWII.

Due to some unexpected mess-up, they drop at the meeting point, a soldier that speaks no English. The meeting point is a bar. So, they tell him to just come up to the barman, order gin, since the word sounds the same in both languages, nod for "thanks", pay and sit quietly in the corner not uttering...

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