Bae Jokes - 47 Hilarious Bae Jokes

What do you call a terrorist's girlfriend?

A Guantanamo Bae

Thought of this one earlier and just had to share

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a female farmer and Hitler's girlfriend?

One bails her hay and the other heils her bae

[NSFW]Bae: babe come over..

Bae: babe come over

Me: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple

Bae: my parents aren't home

Me: I know

upvote

downvote

report

Is any word in English more annoying than "bae"?

Maybae not.

upvote

downvote

report

Where is the most romantic place to sit in the Chesapeake area?

By the Bae

upvote

downvote

report

Bae’s Theorem is P (chill | Netflix) = P(Netflix | chill) * P(chill) / P(Netflix)

Note: {People who get this} ∩ {People who actually Netflix and chill} = ∅

upvote

downvote

report

What is the best herb to give your lover?

A BAE leaf

upvote

downvote

report

If Kermit The Frog converted to Islam, would that make Miss Piggy...

Haram bae?

upvote

downvote

report

What does a monster call his girlfriend?

What does a monster call his girlfriend?

Zom-bae

(... I'll leave now.)

upvote

downvote

report

Why is your injured girlfriend so cold to you?

Because she is a sore bae.

upvote

downvote

report

What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?

One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

upvote

downvote

report

A Muslim couple visit a restaurant known for serving exotic food. As they peruse the menu, the husband exclaims, "Wow! That gorilla burger sure looks good!"

His wife looks up in surprise. "That's haram, bae!" she admonishes.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?

A bae con.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I started dating this danish woman and this is what happened...

I started dating this danish woman and posted a picture of us on Instagram. (I captioned it chillin with my new bae). Shortly after she saw this, she broke up with me. Turns out bae means poop in danish?!

My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning

She asked me how to get her hand out quickly.

I told her, "Dig south for her arm, bae."

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Muslim person say when they're asking someone to be their sex friend?

Will you be my haram bae?

What did Grendel’s girlfriend say when a dangerous canine started to approach them?

“Look out, bae! A wolf!”

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call a group of attractive, promiscuous witches?

An Easy Bae Coven.

upvote

downvote

report

My Girlfriend Just Got Her Wisdom Teeth Out

She was telling me that her face was sore, so I told her she was a *"sore-bae*, get it? Sorbet?". And then she turned around in bed and wouldn't talk to me.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you get when your lovers soul is permanently stuck in a sword?

A bae-blade

upvote

downvote

report

My girlfriend used to work at an American prison in Cuba.

She’s my Guantanamo Bae.

upvote

downvote

report

So, the Muslim word for sin is haram...

... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae?

I'll see myself out.

upvote

downvote

report

a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?"

"it's Haram, Bae"

upvote

downvote

report

Remember to let your significant other drink lots of tea today!

It’s patriotic to put tea in the bae.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call a Significant Other that lives in San Francisco?

A Bay-Bae

upvote

downvote

report

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

upvote

downvote

report

I outbid all the other guys for my online virtual girlfriend.

Now she's my eBae.

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call a hot Indian?

A Bomb Bae

upvote

downvote

report

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

upvote

downvote

report

A Muslim Couple decided to spend their day at the zoo.

They stopped at the Gorilla enclosure.

The Girlfriend then said, "The baby gorilla is soooo cute, I want to kiss it"

The Boyfriend then said. "No! That is Haram bae!!"

upvote

downvote

report

I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her.

It's called "Bae Watch".

upvote

downvote

report

Who called it 'polygamy and monogamy'...

...and not 'PirateBay and PrivateBae'?

upvote

downvote

report

I want to create a VR girl/boyfriend simulator for those alone on Valentines Day...

I shall call it, E-Bae

upvote

downvote

report

What did the married man call his side chick?

Bae B

upvote

downvote

report

What seasoning does a widowed cannibal use?

Old Bae

upvote

downvote

report

What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

upvote

downvote

report

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam.

I told her, "Yeah, it's haram, bae."

upvote

downvote

report

What do the neighbor's wife and a dead gorilla have in common?

They're both haram bae.

upvote

downvote

report

What should the Packers call their cheerleaders?

Green Baes

upvote

downvote

report

The Muslim Who Dated An Ape

Did you hear about the Muslim who was caught screwing an ape? He was stoned to death along with his haram bae.

upvote

downvote

report

If you make fun of your significant other's love of Hunger Games are you....

Mockin'Bae

upvote

downvote

report

What was Beethoven's girlfriend's name?

Bae-thoven.

I'll^see^myself^out.

upvote

downvote

report

What is an overly attached girlfriend's favorite TV show?

Bae-watch.

upvote

downvote

report

Where can you bid on internet mail order brides?

eBae

upvote

downvote

report

I'm from the friendzone originally

But now I live in the bae area.

upvote

downvote

report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beth had her Dodge truck stolen

Beth had her dodge truck stolen. She called the police and they told her they'd send their best detective out in search of her Dodge. The woman called her son John and told him all about what had happened. When John told his girlfriend about it, she was wrought with distress. John said to her, "don'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Advice

In the province of Punjab, lived Joe- the most desirable man in the entire world. The prettiest women all around the world desired to have him, and Joe, who co-incidentally happened to be a big fan of The Office, was aware of the effect he had on women.

Joe was very clear that he wouldn’t le...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.