What is the best herb to give your lover?

A BAE leaf

Why is your injured girlfriend so cold to you?

Because she is a sore bae.

I fell in love with a female terrorist

That's my Guantanamo Bae.

Is any word in English more annoying than "bae"?

Maybae not.

A Muslim couple visit a restaurant known for serving exotic food. As they peruse the menu, the husband exclaims, "Wow! That gorilla burger sure looks good!"

His wife looks up in surprise. "That's haram, bae!" she admonishes.

[NSFW]Bae: babe come over..

Bae: babe come over

Me: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple

Bae: my parents aren't home

Me: I know

What do you call an online girlfriend?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between Hitler's girlfriend and a female farmer?

One bails her hay and one hails her bae.

What do you call it when a beautiful woman tries to trick you into giving her a pig?

A bae con.

My girlfriend used to work at an American prison in Cuba.

She’s my Guantanamo Bae.

What did Grendel’s girlfriend say when a dangerous canine started to approach them?

“Look out, bae! A wolf!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Muslim person say when they're asking someone to be their sex friend?

Will you be my haram bae?

What do you call a terrorist's girlfriend?

A Guantanamo Bae

Thought of this one earlier and just had to share

What's the difference between a cold dessert and an injured girlfriend?

One is ice cream and the other is a sore bae.

What do you get when your lovers soul is permanently stuck in a sword?

A bae-blade

What does a monster call his girlfriend?

What does a monster call his girlfriend?


(... I'll leave now.)

My Girlfriend Just Got Her Wisdom Teeth Out

She was telling me that her face was sore, so I told her she was a *"sore-bae*, get it? Sorbet?". And then she turned around in bed and wouldn't talk to me.

Remember to let your significant other drink lots of tea today!

It’s patriotic to put tea in the bae.

My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning

She asked me how to get her hand out quickly.

I told her, "Dig south for her arm, bae."

Are you aware the the Quran specifically forbids dating Gorillas?

It turns out you're not supposed to have a Haram Bae.

What do you call a group of attractive, promiscuous witches?

An Easy Bae Coven.

A Muslim Couple decided to spend their day at the zoo.

They stopped at the Gorilla enclosure.

The Girlfriend then said, "The baby gorilla is soooo cute, I want to kiss it"

The Boyfriend then said. "No! That is Haram bae!!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Advice

In the province of Punjab, lived Joe- the most desirable man in the entire world. The prettiest women all around the world desired to have him, and Joe, who co-incidentally happened to be a big fan of The Office, was aware of the effect he had on women.

Joe was very clear that he wouldn’t le...

So, the Muslim word for sin is haram...

... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae?

I'll see myself out.

Who called it 'polygamy and monogamy'...

...and not 'PirateBay and PrivateBae'?

A Muslim guy's girlfriend was killed for eating pork

RIP Haram bae

a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. "ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?" said the girl. "no, we cant" the guy replied. "why?"

"it's Haram, Bae"

I want to create a VR girl/boyfriend simulator for those alone on Valentines Day...

I shall call it, E-Bae

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Beth had her Dodge truck stolen

Beth had her dodge truck stolen. She called the police and they told her they'd send their best detective out in search of her Dodge. The woman called her son John and told him all about what had happened. When John told his girlfriend about it, she was wrought with distress. John said to her, "don'...

I outbid all the other guys for my online virtual girlfriend.

Now she's my eBae.

I'm making a movie about a guy who thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him, so he secretly followers her around to keep an eye on her.

It's called "Bae Watch".

What do you call a hot Indian?

A Bomb Bae

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam

My gf asked me if gorilla meat was forbidden in Islam.

I told her, "Yeah, it's haram, bae."

The Muslim Who Dated An Ape

Did you hear about the Muslim who was caught screwing an ape? He was stoned to death along with his haram bae.

What do you call an attractive primate corpse in Saudi Arabia?

Haram bae

What did the married man call his side chick?

Bae B

What seasoning does a widowed cannibal use?

Old Bae

What do the neighbor's wife and a dead gorilla have in common?

They're both haram bae.

What was Beethoven's girlfriend's name?



What should the Packers call their cheerleaders?

Green Baes

What did Miss Piggy become when Kermit converted to Islam?


If you make fun of your significant other's love of Hunger Games are you....


Where can you bid on internet mail order brides?


I'm from the friendzone originally

But now I live in the bae area.

What is an overly attached girlfriend's favorite TV show?


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