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Arranged Marriage Jokes

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Arranged Marriage

A guy meets three potential girls on a couple of dates to decide his bride for an arranged marriage. His friend asks, “so how did it go?”

Guy: “Well, I decided to do a little experiment. On first date, I gave each of them $1000, and then asked them what they did with it on the second date a w...

On arranged marriage

An American sitting in a bar with an Indian...
American guy: how can you guys marry women before knowing them?
Indian guy : how can you marry after knowing them?

A British man and an Indian man were talking about arranged marriage.

English man: How could you marry a woman
before knowing her?


Indian man: How could you marry a woman
AFTER knowing her?

A proposal was sent for arranged marriage.

The girl's parents said "we don't like your son."

Guy's parents: we don't like him either, but what can we do?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't jews have arranged marriage?

They have no 'forced kin'.

I'm so sorry

I said to my son, "You will be forced into an arranged marriage."

He said no. I replied with, "It is Bill Gates' daughter." He said yes.

I called up Bill Gates and said, "Your daughter will marry my son." He said no. I replied with "I am the CEO of the World Bank." He said yes.

I called up the world bank and said, "Make me CEO." They said no. I repli...

An optometrist was preparing an arranged marriage...

An optometrist was preparing an arranged marriage for his 18 year old daughter and needed to find a suitable husband. His daughter was extremely beautiful and has had many men across the world ask for her hand in marriage and her father began seeing which of these men would suit her. After searching...

Did you know that cultures with arranged marriages typically serve melon at the wedding feast?

Yep. It symbolizes the fact that they cantelope.

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time...

An Indian is meeting his future wife via an arranged marriage and he father for the first time. Her father is a heart surgeon. At one point in the evening, the father pulls the man aside and says, "There is something you should know about Saanvi before you wed. I am her doctor as well as her fa...

You know you're an Indian redneck when you have an arranged marriage....

to your cousin.

What do you call an arranged marriage between two communists who don't like each other?

A so-be-it union.

An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says:

"Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!"

Indian parents don't usually throw surprise parties for their kids...

But when they do, it's called an ARRANGED MARRIAGE.

Try at your own risk.

Foreign tourist: What is the greatest adventure sport in India?

Indian man: \*Looks sadly at ring on his hand\* Arranged marriage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Someone asked an Indian girl how she got married?

"I used to work at a pharmacy and my would-be husband came and asked for an XXXXXXL condom.

It was only after the arranged marriage I found out that he has a stutter."

What do you call a surprise party in India?

Arranged marriage

p.s. I'm an Indian living in India.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just seen a lad who I used to go to school with years ago

and we ended up having a bit of a catch up and he revealed he's getting wed soon and it's an arranged marriage that his parents have sorted out for him.

So I was asking about the ins and outs of what goes on and what the bride is like etc.. and he basically tells me that him and his parents h...

Why did the Composer marry the Musician?

It was an arranged marriage.

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