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Arf Jokes

I met Seal once.

I told him I loved his music, and he was all "Arf arf arf arf arf arf!"

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were being chased by an axe-murderer...

when they stumbled upon an old abandoned warehouse. Deciding that it was the safest place to hide, the three women entered the warehouse.

Along the back wall of the warehouse were three empty potato sacks laying on the ground. Thinking on their feet, each women got into a sack to hide from c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is standing with a Shiba Inu with a sign that says "Amazing Mathematical Dog!"

Skeptical, a passerby asks, "What makes your dog so mathematical?"

"Just watch this!" replies the man smugly. "Koro, what's three minus two?"

"Wan!" barks the dog, as all Japanese dogs do.

"What's four plus seven?"

"Wan wan!" barks the dog.

"See? One one! Eleven! K...

Took my old dog to the vet today

He has pretty bad arf-ritis.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three thieves were fleeing the cops

they went inside a potato warehouse and each saw a sack and hid inside.

The cops walked in and saw the first sack and kicked it. The robber went "meow", so the cop said, oh it's only a cat.

They went to the second sack and kicked it and second robber went 'arf". So cop said, oh, this...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar...

...And sees a jar full of $10 bills on the counter. "What's that for?" he asks the bartender. The guy behind the counter replies: "We have a contest going on, to take part you gotta drop $10 in the jar. You then drink a shot of tequila, and go outside in the back. There's a huge Rottweiler with a ro...

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde...

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are being chased by a serial killer, they run into a barn and hide in three sacks of potatoes. The killer walks up to the first bag and shakes it. "Meow meow" goes the brunette. "Just a dumb cat." The killer thinks out loud. He goes to the second bag and shakes it...

What do you call it when a dog has chronic inflammation in its joints?

Arf-ritis...

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