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Dark Side Jokes

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The Dark side of KungFu

Master: I've been watching you for a while and have decided you aren't good enough.

Disciple: But I will try harder master.

Master: I'ts no good, you don't learn, your lazy and full of bad habits.
So instead I will break tradition and show you the forbidden Black Arts.

Discip...

Recently NASA found bones on the dark side of the moon.

Turns out, the cow never made it.

Chinese probes are still doing things on the dark side of the moon.

Seems pretty shady.

What would you call a potato that has gone to the Dark Side?

Vader-tots

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the math teacher join the dark side?

Because only a sith deals in absolutes.




I fucking thought of this while in the bathroom. And if it's already thought of, then fuck them. This is the sole accomplishment of my life and I can't let anybody take that away from me.

Come with me to the dark side

For real, our light bulb popped and we really need help.

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side?

(shrugs)

"Well, Sith happens"

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

Imagine a place where you can buy everything related to the Sith and the Dark Side

It would be called the Darth Mall...

...and everything would be half off

Why did the Sith Lord cross the road?

To get to the dark side!

You Might be a Redneck Jedi If…

* You ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya’ll."
* Your Jedi robe is camouflage.
* You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.
* At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.
* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.
* You have ever had a...

Kids orbit their parents like moons.

It's why they can't see their dark sides.

If you start the Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd and the passion of the Christ at the same time the scenes don’t match up at all

It turns out Jesus was more of a nine inch nails guy

Why do jedi always burn their pancakes?

Because they wont turn over to the dark side.

Duct tape is like the force.

It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis, the wise?

I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life. He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared ab...

President Donald Trump said that by 2050 US forces intend to attack the Sun if it does not stop nuclear reactions.

the attack is planned at night or they will just fly from the dark side.

What was Stevie Wonder and Emperor Palpatine's favorite thing about dreaming.

Visions of the dark side

How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They like it on the dark side.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I told my wife we'd have sex Star Wars style.

Forced through the Dark Side.

What is Donald Trump's favorite Pink Floyd album?

Dark side of the Moon, for it's eclectic instrumentation and higher than average production values.

Yo mammas so fat,

China is planning on landing on her dark side!

Let's be honest...

Finn was a little bit on the Dark side...

I'm getting my Darth Vader shaped mole checked out.

I'm concerned because it's on the dark side.

Are you a man? (A quiz)

Check all that apply to you.

☐ must be swift as the coursing river
☐ with all the force of a great typhoon
☐ with all the strength of a raging fire
☐ mysterious as the dark side of the moon

Why didn't Mark Hamill go crazy while voice acting as the Joker?

Because he overcame the dark side

I was visiting a historic site with a battlefield and two forts. The park ranger told me to be careful as the sun goes down, because the buildings cast a large shadow and it is hard to see where you are walking.

I said, ok I will beware the dark side of the forts.

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