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Agnostic Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist, an Agnostic and an Atheist all walk into a restaurant...

They talk, laugh, drink and become good friends. It's not a joke, it's what happens when you're not a fucking asshole.

Agnostic meterologist

The agnostic meteorologist wonders whether or not there is weather or not.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do?

Stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

I'm a militant agnostic...

I don't know if there's a God and NIETHER DO YOU!

Did you hear about the agnostic scientist who had twins?

She had one of them baptised, the other one is the control.

How many agnostics does it take to change a lightbulb?

We can't know.

One day, 3 men died and went to heaven

"Religion?" God's secretary asked the first man.
"Jewish," the man replied.
"Okay, go to room 23, but be very quiet when you go past room 8," the secretary said.
"Religion?" he asked the second man.
"Muslim."
"Go to room 10, but be very quiet when you go past room 8."
"Religion?" h...

If a theist has belief in a god and an atheist has non-belief what does that make agnostics?

“May-believers”.

What happened to the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac, lazy, dumb, Reddit /jokes poster?

She stayed up all night reposting that there really isn’t an Ogd.

What do you call somebody who sits on the fence about religion, but argues against both sides anyway?

Antagnostic.

A buddy of mine suffers from dyslexia, paranoia and he's agnostic.

He's scared all the time wondering is there is a Dog

Agnostics need a better bookkeeper

They don't know if they have a prophet or not.

It's difficult being a dyslexic agnostic

I'm never quite sure whether or not there's a dog

I'm opening a funeral parlor for people of no specific faith

I'm calling it "Die Agnostic Services."

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

You get somebody who stays up all night tutoring himself mentally over the question of whether or not there is a dog.

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