Across The Pond Jokes - 8 Hilarious Across The Pond Jokes

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A man with a 25-inch long penis

goes to his doctor to complain that he is unable to get any women to have sex with him. They all tell him that his penis is too long.

"Doctor," he asks in total frustration, "Is there any way you can shorten it?"

The doctor replies, "Medically son, there is nothing I can do. But, I do...

Meet my good friend 50 Cent, or as he's known across the pond...

10,000 Pounds

Moses and Jesus decide to play golf.

First hole is a par 4, fairly straight but there's a pond that stretches from the front of the tee to a spot about 200 yards down the fairway. Jesus pulls a 4-iron out of his bag and steps up to the tee.

Moses can't believe it. "A 4-iron? Are you nuts? You can't clear the water with tha...

Jesus and Moses were playing some Golf

As they approached one particular hole, a short Par 3, with a pond where the hole was located right at the edge of the pond.

You know, Moses, this hole is designed just like hole 15 at Pinehurst. I once watched Jack Nicholas use a 9 iron to get a hole in one here!

As he pulled out his...

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A frog is born mute

A frog is born mute so he can’t make any noises that a frog typically makes because, well, he can’t make any noises at all. So naturally it’s very difficult for the frog to make friends with the other frogs and he ends up with just one friend; a tortoise who’s had the patience and the wherewithal to...

Dry humor about water.

So these two guys are in a cabin in the woods by a small pond in Vermont.

One says, "Hey, go fetch some water to drink."

So the other takes a pail and wades out into the pond to get water. He looks up and there is a bear across the pond looking at him and growling!

The guy drops...

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In the middle of a beautiful forest there is a pond filled with clear, cool water.

Flying about six inches above the pond is a fly. The fly is thinking "I'm thirsty. If I drop down to the surface of the pond I can get a drink".

Unknown to the fly a fish is quietly watching it and thinking "That fly looks thirsty. If it drops down to get a drink I can swim up and eat it. Tha...

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The Princess and The Frog

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who lived in a grand castle. On a hot spring evening, she decided to go for a walk in the big castle gardens to get some fresh air. She went to sit under her favorite willow tree with her bare feet dangling in a pond, humming a quiet song. After a shor...

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