Zuckerberg Jokes

He’s explaining Facebook to old people.

He runs Facebook.

This guy is not your man.
This guy is Mark Zuckerberg.

Yes, he’s never met-a-verse he didn’t like.

I said I was afraid Mark Zuckerberg was listening.
She laughed.
I laughed.
Alexa laughed.
Siri laughed.

He calls it Meta verse.

Alien VS Predator!

Mark Zuckerberg's car hit a guy's car

Guy (angry) : Do you know who I am?

Mark : Yes, you are Scott Thomas, you have 237 friends out of which 37 are females and your wife doesn't know 12 of them. Last holiday you went to Thailand and there you . . .

Guy : Leave it bro, it was my... read more

Kid: My dad says you spy on us.

Zuckerberg: He's not your dad.

Picard didn't sell Data

Hold my beer!

Guy: *angry* Do you know who I am?!

Mark: Yes, your name is Andrew Smith, you have 122 friends out of which 30 are females, and your wife has 652 friends and 600 of them are males. Last year she messaged with a guy named Michael…

Guy: OKAY. Enough! The accident was my fault, just leave... read more

The boy says: “My daddy said you were stealing out information”

Mark Zuckerberg replies: “He isn’t your dad”

Tech support

You get in the car and he already knows your name and where you live

He's going to call it: Metastasis.

He knows everything about you, your interests, etc.

Monopoly

They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...

Alien vs Predator

Mark : we need 1000s of people's image so that we can fetch the data for the AI but we are running short on money this time. Any inputs?

Consultant 1: get the info from Apple's AI

Consultant 2: XoXo rofl! let's create a #10yearchallenge

Mark :

consultant :

Mark ... read more

He couldn't pass the captcha for Myspace.

Zuckerberg: “1010011010”.......Ahem

Zuckerberg: “Senator, we run ads”

January 19 2038 of course

One's a human trying to conquer Mars and the other is an alien trying to conquer Earth.

Note: This joke isn't mine, I heard it somewhere but I forgot where, if it's already been posted send me the link and I'll remove it.

Data.

So he can mine it.

Kid:. My Dad says Facebook knows everything and that your spying on people.

Mark: He's not your Dad...

"Mr Zuckerberg, we have several very serious questions and we demand answers"
"I have printed out all of your Internet histories"
"This meeting is over...”

iSpy.

Fishing

Zucculents are excellent at storing water and can thrive in arid climates.

A guy walks into Metaverse and asks Zuckerberg for a free harvested data. Zuckerberg says "I'll give you a free harvested data if you can tell me a multi-level meta joke." So the guy says "A guy walks into Metaverse and asks Zuckerberg for a free harvested data. Zuckerberg says "I'll give you a free... read more

Three. One for his laptop, one for his phone and one for himself.

Couldn't find a tux with a hoodie

Oh wait, it’s not April 1.

Motherzucker

Suddenly, they hit turbulence. The pilot, telling them that the plane is going to crash, grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. There are only 3 parachutes left, so Mark Zuckerberg says, "I am worth over 50 billion dollars," and jumps out of the plane. Trump says "I am the smartest man in the... read more

He asks that you respect his privacy during this challenging time.

Hes having to explain his undeleted internet history.

Good bot.

Literally and alphabetically

But no matter how much we didn't want him to, he kept insisting, "I'll go rhythms. "

Founder Mark Zuckerberg states "The Meta-mucil merger will help us move things along. They are looking forward to this with every fiber of their being."

A Zuckerberg

Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffet, Richard Branson, Michael Bloomberg, Steve Ballmer, Charles Koch, and Jim Walton went on a luxurious yacht to cruise around the globe. Each of them brought an endangered animal to cook and eat as a delicacy during the trip.
Little... read more