At an all-you-can-eat buffet, my nine-year-old was excited to find a chocolate milk machine. But her aunt did not approve. “Chocolate milk for dinner?” she asked.
“It’s delicious!” said my daughter.
Her aunt shrugged. “Well, its 8 a.m. somewhere.”
I once ordered a white Russian...
We're married now.
A guy walks into a bar and orders a White Russian.
"This tastes a little funny," the guy complains. "Has your dairy gone off?" The irritated bartender grabs the carton of milk and checks the expiration date stamped on the side. "It says here that it doesn't expire until this coming Friday," the bartender says. "That means my milk has a date for Vale...
Two Caucasian Russians walk into a bar
The bartender looks up and says “sorry, but we don’t serve white Russians here”
The Russians respond “oh that’s alright, we’ll get 2 Bloody Mary’s instead”
What’s the best drink to have on the 4th of July?
A White Russian. Nothing is more American then a Russian helping you to make poor choices.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
I had a new cocktail this evening. It’s called “The Donald”.
It’s an orange peel on top of a White Russian.
A guy walks into a bar and orders 12 White Russians...
The bartender looks up at him and says "Hi, Donald."
What do Donald Trump and the Dude have in common?
They both love white Russians.
What's Donald Trump's favorite drink?
A White Russian.
I'm so sorry.
A cat walks into a bar...
Bartender asks what he'll have. Cat orders a White Russian. Bartender says he's out of vodka. Cat is fine with that, thats actually how he prefers it.
I went to the bar today and asked the bartender to make me an Orange Cheeto...
"I've never heard of that," he replies.
"Well, nobody really knows what it's made of," I reply, "but I've heard it's heavily influenced by a White Russian."
Went into a bar and ordered a Donald Trump...
They gave me a White Russian and a blast from a hair dryer.
The only sad thing about the Caps winning the cup is that we have to retire one of the best jokes in the NHL.
Have you ever been to a bar and ordered an Ovechkin?
If the bartender doesn't know what it is just tell him it's a White Russian with No Cup.
James Comey walks into a bar...
and orders two White Russians - one for here, one to go.
The White House bar and restaurant, upon Trump's arrival, will reduce their beverage selections to just two choices:
You can get a White Russian or an Orange Julius.
A guy walks into a bar and orders an Ovechkin... (Hockey joke)
The bartender looks confused and asks "What the hell is an Ovechkin?"
The guy says "It's a White Russian with no ice and no cup!"
I just came up with Trump's inauguration drink
I call it, "Make America Smashed Again" It's a White Russian with pumpkin spice.
Donald Trump and Putin walk into a bar.
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin walk into a bar They approach the bar and take a seat. The bartender, raising his eyebrow questions, " Good afternoon Mister president, what brings you in this fine afternoon?" "I just made the yuuuugest arms deal in history today with Saudi Arabia and this gre...
I'll have an Ovechkin
A Penguins fan walks into a bar in DC. The bartender says "what'll you have?"
"One Ovechkin please"
The bartender thinks for a minute and scratches his head "the Gr8 8 has enjoyed a drink at this very bar but I'm not sure how to make an Ovechkin"
The Penguins fan say...
A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar
The conservative orders a whisky, the liberal a white Russian. After a single sip of each they launch into a wild argument with each other.
The bartender turns and asks the moderate what he wants.
Replieth the moderate, "Nothing. I'm the one who has to drive them home."
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