Upside Down Jokes - 76 Hilarious Upside Down Jokes

Two bats were hanging upside down in a cave

The first bat asks the second, “Do you remember the worst day of your life?”

“I sure do," said the second bat. "It was the day I had diarrhea.”

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I tried masturbating upside down last night ...

I don't know what come over me.

How do you make an idiot turn his phone upside down?

˙ǝʞoɾ qɯnp ɐ ɯᴉɥ llǝʇ no⅄

Today I was helping a friend install his fence, but I put in one of the stakes upside down so we had to do it over.

Sorry for the repost.

A man was hanging upside down from a tree

A man was hanging upside down from a tree. His friend saw him and asked him, why are you hanging upside down! The man replied “i just took a tablet for my headache I’m afraid it will go to my stomach”

What is the funniest time of day?

7:07 because when you flip it upside down, it says LOL!

This joke was invented by my 8 year old daughter so be nice please :)

People asked me if it rains upside down in Australia.

I said: "Yes, but down here, we call it evaporation."

If your rowing boat turns upside down, you can wear it as a hat..

It's capsized.

My girlfriend and I have started eating our breakfast baps upside down.

It's a roll reversal.

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Bloke goes into a pub, and the barmaid asks what he wants. "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat from between your tits" he says....

...."You dirty pig!" shouts the barmaid, "get out before I get my husband."

The bloke apologizes and promises not to repeat his gaffe. The Barmaid accepts this and asks him again what he wants. "I want to pull your pants down, spread yoghurt between the cheeks of your ass and lick it al...

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its mea...

I saw an upside down number 6, and I thought...

‘That’s odd’

Because it’s upside down

Why is this joke Australian?

Two factory workers are talking among themselves.

The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."

The man replies, "And how would you do that?"

To which the woman answers, "Just wait and watch."
She hangs herself upside down from the ceiling.

The boss comes in, takes a look at her and asks, "What are you doing?"...

My grandpa said he was built upside down

He said his nose runs and his feet smell.

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Why do birds fly upside down over Alabama?

There is nothing there worth shitting on.

What do you get when you flip a blond upside down?

A brunette with bad breath

I didn't understand what my wife meant when she told me I was holding the bag of pasta upside down...

Then the Penne dropped

What’s the best type of cheese in the upside down?

Demogorgonzola

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A guy goes up to a woman in a bar and says, "I'm gonna make your nipples hard"...

She says, "Oh, yeah...? My husband will kick your ass"...

He says, "And then I'm gonna turn you upside-down, pour beer in your pussy, and then guzzle it all down"...

She says, "That's it, I'm gonna tell my husband, and he's gonna kick your ass but real good"...

She goes home to ...

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What had a little dick and hangs upside down? (This joke has to be done over the phone)

Caller: What has a little dick and hangs upside down?

Person you call: um...idk

Caller: A bat. What has a big dick and hangs up?

Person you call: um...idk

Hang up on person you are calling

Today my life got turned upside down...

ǝɟᴉl ʎɯ

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Bored Superman

One day Superman is flying around looking for crime. Lex Luther is locked up along with all the other villains so not much is going on. Superman sees Batman crouched next to a gargoyle on a building so stops by to see what's up. "Hey Batman what's good wanna do something?" Batman answers gruffly, "I...

What kind of bats swing upside down?

Acro-bats!

(From my 6 year old)

What makes the noise of a cow when you turn it upside down?

A cow.

A husband and his wife were always fighting each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The woman would shout - 'When I die, I will dig my way up, out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life..' Neighbours feared her and the woman liked the fact that she was feared.. To...

I picked up an upside down bag of candy and ate it all in one go.

I just love W&W's.

I saw a reddit post teasing Australia about being upside down.

So I went ahead and gave it an Australian upvote.

During wartime, the Philippine flag is flipped upside down so the red part is on top

The same thing is done with the French flag, but instead they remove the red and blue colors

Why does your blood rush to your head when you're upside down but not to your feet when you're right side up?

Your feet aren't empty.

Three bats chilling in a cave upside down

On of them goes out for a hunt, turns back with his mouth full of blood. Both are impressed, "damn dude what did you catch?" "You see that pile of flesh? Well that was a big fat cat, juicy blood!".

The second one goes out, turns back within an hour, whole face covered in blood. "Wooah man, te...

I decided to turn my frown upside down one day.

Now my head is broken.

What do you call a frog hanging upside down?

Mistle-toad.

From google when my son asked for a joke. And I laughed harder than I should hv.

This criminal invaded my house and turned my phone book upside down without me realising.

Instead of the cops there's some angry guy with a pitchfork on my doorstep.

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Well done to McDonald's for marking International Women's Day by turning their logo upside down...

It looks just like a big dangly pair of tits...

The word mom looks like wow upside down

Just like your mom

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...

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My new favorite sex position is called "wow".

It's where I turn your mom upside down.

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The Rorschach Test (Classic)

A man goes to a Psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about sex."

The Psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots.

"What is this a picture of?" he asks.

The man turns the picture upside down then turns ...

Two Irishmen have a bright idea

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.

Paddy says to Murphy, “I’m gonna get the day off. I’m gonna pretend I’ve gone mad!” He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts “I’m a lightbulb, I’m a lightbulb!”

Murphy watches in amazement.

The foreman shouts: “Paddy...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

“I’d like to be six again”, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme par...

Did you know a kayak can be worn as a hat?

Once you flip it upside down to put on your head, it's capsized!

Dance

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded around a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,00...

Mussolini goes to hell

Its 1945, and its time for Mussolini to go to Hell

As he arrives near the infernal gates, apart from the "no smoking" sign he also spots an imp with a clipboard and a pen

As he approaches the gate the aforementioned imp says

"Welcome to hell, please state your name and surname...

Did you know you can wear any boat as a hat?

You just have to turn it upside down to make it cap sized.

What dessert do swingers serve at their parties?

Pineapple upside down cake.

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

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Door # 1, 2 or 3

He went to Hell and expected to be greeted by Satan himself, when an apprentice approached him, saying, "Welcome to Hell =] !!" When he asked about seeing the boss, was told in due time but now he would have to choose one of three doors/rooms where within to spend eternity...

He asked if he c...

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I finally measured my penis today...

Apparently my college girlfriend read the "9" on the ruler upside down.

Two mechanics are starting a long work day at the shop. [Long]

Mike: "I ain't feeling like working today."

Sam: "Yeah, me neither."

Mike: "Think I'm gonna head on home."

Sam: "Yeah and get fired."

Mike: "Naw man. Watch this."

Mike: *Proceeds to climb up the tire rack, up to rafters where he hangs upside down by his legs, wit...

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A fun joke for the phone

Once bored with the conversation, ask the recipient to help you with a joke

Start off with "what has a small dick that hangs down?"

The typical answer "what??"

"A bat, you know, because it hangs upside down"

"Oh"

"What has a big dick that hangs up?'

"Huh?"<...

WOW is an interesting word. WOW spelled backwards is still wow. And WOW upside down is MOM. And MOM upside down is Dad's favorite thing.

No, I'm sorry, that joke was cheap and easy, and so's my mom, and that's why I'm here. No, seriously, I love my mom... And you can, too, for twelve dollars.

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little johnny and little susie are working together In a factory

little susie says "you know it's a beautiful day and I don't want to work anymore, I bet you that I can get the boss to give me the day off"
Little johnny says "oh yeah how you going to do that ?"
She says watch this the boss is coming.
she gets up and hangs herself upside down from the r...

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message

Osama Bin Laden sends George W. Bush a coded message to let him know he is still alive:-
"370H SSV 0773H." Bush is baffled. Condi Rice and her aides and even the FBI and CIA
can't decipher it. So they ask Britain's MI6 for help. Within a minute MI6 replies:-
"Er, tell the President he's hol...

Three men and the Fly that fell in the Scotch they were drinking

A Frenchman, a German and an Irishman were drinking Scotch. Suddenly a fly fell into each man's drink. The Frenchman says, “ I cannot drink this!” The German flicks the fly out and downs his drink. The Irishman reaches into the glass, grabs the fly, turns it upside down over his drink and yells at t...

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SUMMER CAMP FOR Husbands. Evening classes for men. Starting this month.

*Summer camp*

Note: due to the complexity and level of difficulty of the content, each course will accept a maximum of eight participants each.

*Topic 1.*
How to fill ice-cube trays and why to fill water bottles before putting them back in the fridge.
Step by step with slide pre...

Captain, are u sure we're sailing to Italy?

-Of course.
-But the compass is upside down.
-Off course.

I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.

I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone....

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18000 feet

Distress at 18,000 feet.

An air traffic control tower suddenly lost communications with a small twin engine aircraft.
A moment later the tower's landline rang and was answered by one of the employees.
The passenger riding with the pilot who lost communications was on a cellular phone a...

I didn't think handstands were traumatic.

But I just did one and my whole world was turned upside down.

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Tommy was 4 when his little brother was born. Tommy was pissed.

His life was suddenly turned upside down. Everyone was too busy doting on little Timmy to notice him anymore, everyone was like "Timmy this, Timmy that, Timmy's the best kid ever". Even his parents seemed to have forgotten about him. Tommy began to go deep into depression, but nobody seemed to care,...

My Kid Just Swallowed Thirty Cents

Dad shows up in the E.R. with his young son. Dad says to the doctor, "Doc, help! My son just swallowed thirty cents!" The doctor replies, "No problem. We'll get that out in no time." And she picks up the boy by the ankles, shakes him upside down a few times, and out pop a quarter and a nickle. "Prob...

How DARE you all make fun of 50 Cent’s weight from last night?!

It took a lot of courage for those two guys to hang upside down on national television!

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Irish Whiskey

A man walked into a pub, took a seat, and when the barmaid asked him what he wanted he replied, "I want to bury my face in your cleavage and lick the sweat between your luscious breasts".
"You bloody degenerate!", the barmaid shouted, "Get out before I fetch my husband!"

The man apologize...

A pastor, a nun, and a blind man were talking about the best position to pray in

The pastor says, "I think the proper way to pray is on your knees with your hands together and your head bowed."

The nun says "That's a good one brother Tim but I think we should pray with our eyes wide open looking up into the sky like a child would speak to their father."

The blind ...

So I was baking a premade pie and the instructions told me to put it in the oven at 180 degrees.

Now I'm left with an upside down pie in an oven.

A woman has just given birth to her child.

The doctor holds the newborn child at both feet, upside down, then slams it three times on the wall. The mother is shocked! The doctor consoles: «April fools! Was already dead!»

A mathematician wants more excitement and wants to become a volunteer fireman on the weekends

He goes through the training, and proceeds to take the written final exam.

Question 1: You come across a car that is flipped upside down and on fire with the driver still in it. What do you do?

The mathematician answers with the steps he was taught in training.

Question 2: You ...

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The blonde and the 710 knob

A blonde walks into an auto shop to ask a question.

Blonde: “I have a knob under the hood of my car that says 710 on it. It only turns one way and when I turn it, nothing happens. Can you tell me what it does?”

Confused, the mechanic says “show me.”

She takes him out to her car...

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My collection of elephant jokes

**Q: Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?**

A: Because they're *really* good at it

**Q: Why should you never walk in the jungle between five and six?**

A: Because that's when the elephants get out of the trees.

**Q: Why are there pygmies in the jungle?**
...

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Man: Doctor i think i have a problem, everywhere i look i see naked women

Doctor: interesting. Alright let's see. *doctor draws a circle on paper.* What do you see here?

Man: A naked woman

Doctor: Hmm. *draws a rectangle on paper.* And what do you see here?

Man: A naked woman again

Doctor: Alright. *draws a triangle on paper*. And here?

...

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Two worms live together on a gold course.

First worm asks what’s the weather like? Second worm says he’ll check and starts making his way up the dirt.

Meanwhile, two lady golfers are on the course. First one has to piss. Second one says just do it right here, nobody’s around.

Meanwhile the worm goes to the dirt looks up and g...

Instructions said to preheat oven at 180 degrees

Not sure i'll try this recipe again, turning the oven upside down was a real back breaker...

Today I watched Spongebob Squarepants while standing on my head

It was a pineapple upside down cake day

2 blondes are on a roller coaster...

One says to the other, "If we turn upside down, will we fall out?"

The other says, "Of course not !! We will still be friends. "

Helicopter backwards is retpocileH

Helicopter upside down is how Kobe died

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