Two nuns riding bicycles on tiny back roads in Vatican City...

One old and one young, they pedal down the tiny side streets admiring the scenery. The young nun sighs and says, "Wow, I've never come this way before."

The other nun goes, "Ah, yes, my dear. It's the cobblestones."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope is walking through the streets of Vatican City...

... and he sees two beggars holding up cans for money. One of them is holding up a Christian cross, and the other a Star of David. The Pope sees that the one with the cross is, of course, getting much more money than the one with the Star of David, with some people only giving money to the Christian...

What does Vatican City smell like?

Poperie!

I got sacked as a tour guide in Vatican City.

As I was talking about the pope, we turned a corner and I said, "Ah, speak of the devil".

A chauffeur goes to pick up the Pope from the airport.

On arrival at the Vatican airport, the chauffeur picks up the Pope as he always does, but this time the Pope refused to step inside the car. He asks the Pope, "Why won't you get in?" to which the Pope responds, "Let me drive back to the Vatican! I'm from Argentina, we love to drive!" The chauffeur t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The interviewer asked Kevin if he had any special skills not mentioned on his resume...

Kevin thought for a second and replied, "Well I do know an usual number of people in the world. Even celebrities." The interviewer played along and asked, "Alright. How about Tom Cruise?". Kevin chuckles and says, "Yep! Tom and I go way back actually". Figuring Kevin was just trying to look impressi...

Everyone knows Frank. [Long]

One day, Frank and Fred were chatting and Frank said ”Oh ya, I know everyone.” And Fred failed to believe him, so Fred replied “I don’t believe that you know EVERYONE. I’ll bet $100 you don’t know Mayor Marabell.” Upon hearing this, frank replied “Oh ya! We went to highschool together!“ Fred decided...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man's lifelong dream was to meet the pope.

For years and years, he scrimped, scrounged, and saved up all his money for a lavish trip to Italy.

Wanting to look his best for the pontiff, he had a custom-fitted suit tailored to his exact measurements and bought the finest Italian leather boots money could buy.

The next morning h...

Everybody knows Bubba

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"

"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and...

An American tourist arrives in Rome....

...and takes a taxi to take a tour of the city.

Taxi driver takes him first in front of the Colosseum.

tourist: what is this?

taxi driver: this is the Colosseum

tourist: How long did it take to build it?

taxi driver: I do not know .... a few years ...

touris...

A man and his wife are driving around

When suddenly another car crasher right on the passenger's seat.
The man then rushes his wife to the hospital where she is taken to the operating room for surgery.

8 hours pass and the man has been waiting outside worried for his wife, when the door opens and the doctor comes out exausted...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The year: 2029. A brilliant scientist is constructing the first sentient artificial intelligence.

He's working out of his garage in San Francisco, living on charitable donations from his worried friends. He dropped out of college when he realized he could change the world — there's no going back; his life is dedicated to this project. At first, he is met with failure upon failure. But then, he r...

The Bee

One day a bee gets bored of his daily jobs, so he decided to leave his hive an explore the world.

He begins his journey, and travels across all 50 states of America, meeting many wonderful people on the way. Everyone seems to like the bee. But there has to be more to life, the Bee thought, an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Seven Dwarfs are in The Vatican

The Seven Dwarfs, of Snow White fame, are in Vatican City, where they've managed to get an audience with the pope. Dopey asks the pope, "Papa, are there any dwarf nuns here in the Vatican?" The old man ponders this unusual question for a moment, and responds no, there are no dwarf nuns here in the V...

Joe knows everyione

Joe and Paul entered a bar and everyone at the bar said, "Hi Joe, Hey Joe,
How ya doin' Joe?"
Paul said, "What, are you a regular here, Joe?"
Joe answered, "No, it's just that everyone knows me."
"Whaddya mean everyone knows you?" said Paul.
"I mean everyone in the world knows me," re...

Two beggars are sitting in the Vatican...

There were two beggars sitting next to each other on the street in Vatican city, one had a large cross around his neck, the other had the star of David.It was a lovely day, the sun was shinning, there were thousands of people walking past the two beggars, but everyone was giving the man with the cro...

Pope John Paul II...

...was on a tour of the United States some years ago. During a stop in Atlanta, an admirer presented him with a beautiful handmade ring. But somehow, in the hectic confusion of the tour, the ring was misplaced.

"Don't worry, Your Holiness," said the pope's aide. "I'm sure it will turn up b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

Only two countries have square flags

One is Vatican City, the other is Switzerland.


No wonder Swiss cheese is holy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Steve was always bragging about how he knew virtually any famous person you could name.

One day, his co-worker Ben got sick of him and said "Oh yeah?! Prove it!" to which Steve calmly replied: "Okay, wanna come with me to visit Justin Timberlake tomorrow?" Ben agreed, if only because Steve was paying for both of their tickets to Los Angeles. The next day, Ben remained skeptical all the...

It's an old joke, it's long, but it's one of my favorites.

Dave and Mike are two friends and are hanging out, just talking and having a good time. Suddenly, the Prime Minister of Canada walks up to them with a huge smile on his face and says, "Hey Dave! Long time no see!" Mike is in shock and just listens to Dave and the PM chat, laugh and act lie they're o...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope Goes to America

The Pope leaves Vatican City for an official trip to America.

After his flight lands, he is ushered off the plane by the pilot, who says to him "Welcome to America, Elvis. I bet you're glad to be home". To which the Pope replies, "Oh, my son, I am not Elvis. I am the Pope. I am the Holy One."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, two priests are talking...

and one mentions that he has a new kind of fish he wants to try for supper, called sunzoviches (sons o' bitches). The one priest is in shock that he said that, while the other says "No, no, that is the name of the fish." So, later that night, they were finished and they said "Wow, those were great. ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.