Two Time Jokes - 12 Hilarious Two Time Jokes

Genie granted me one wish, but with a condition that my enemy will get two times more

I asked for 120/80 blood pressure

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does Jesus have only two times a week??

It takes three days for him to rise again.

What is two times more disgusting than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding half a worm in your apple

Two time travelers meet at a bar

"So when were you during the great financial crisis?"

I’ve only done cocaine two times in my life..

..once for 2 years, and once for 5 years.

Redditors laugh at jokes two times

Once when they read it, and once when they repost it.

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

What do you call fish that taste two times as salty?

2Na

i've been married two times. my first wife died to poisonous mushrooms. the other sufred severe skull fracture.

\-what happened to her?

\-she didn't want to eat the mushrooms

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman

before marriage and after marriage.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On average, an American man will have

two to three times a week; whereas a Japanese man will have only one or two times a year. This is upsetting news to me. I had no idea I was Japanese.

A real man can feel embarrassed only two times in his life...

the first time when he can't manage the second time, and the second time when he can't manage the first time.

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