UPJOKE
greenwichtimeclockshourlongitudeclocklinuxearthanytimesundialtimelybedtimedowntimetimeouttimeless

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

I love timezones

In England it's 12PM, in Germany it's 1PM and in the U.S it's 1953.

Fuck you, SCOTUS.

Timezones are so cool

Australia is in 2021


USA is in 2020


North Korea is in 1963

Timezones are so weird like, itโ€™s june 1 in Australia, May 31 in Canada

and still 1920 in America

What timezone do monarchies like to be in?

In CEST

All timezones are equal and shouldn't be shamed

Greenwich is just mean

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A Catholic priest, a Buddhist Monk and an Atheist walk into a bar

After they put in their orders, the three strike up a conversation about what they believe awaits them in the afterlife.

The priest says, "I try to live my life according to God's word, so that I may go to the good Lord in heaven and live in paradise for all of eternity. I do not curse, I for...

What do Niki Lauda and Daenerys Targaryen have in common ?

Both

\- Rode fast, roaring things,

\- Wanted to be King / Queen,

\- Survived the flames,

\- Broke the wheel,

\- Died the same day.\*



RIP both of you.



(\* if you're in the right timezones)

Give me your best 'Yo Momma' jokes.

Yo momma's so fat, she wears a watch on each arm for different timezones!

Yo momma's so fat, she is on BOTH sides of the family!

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Yasser Arafat calls George Bush the morning of 9/11.

"Speaking in behalf of all my population, I am truly sickened by the tragedy that happened and I wanted to assure you that we do not condone terrorist acts in any form or way."

"Sorry Yasser, but what are you talking about?"

"Oh shit guys why didn't you remind me of the different timez...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Yo mumma so fat..

Yo mumma so fat that she needs two wristwatches, one on each hand because she's in two timezones.

NOTE: I'm Australian so I spell the word mum with an 'u'

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