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Thorns Jokes

What is the name of that restaurant?

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. . . I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man...

A German meets a fairy who is stuck in thorns

It said: Can you help me?
The German answered: What do I get?
The fairy said: You will have a wish fulfilled!
So the German helps her and wished to be a prince who lives in a great castle with an beautiful princess. Then he falls asleep.
When he wakes up, a beautiful princess is looking ...

What do you call a guy who only wears a loincloth and a crown of thorns?

A cross-dresser

Two elderly couples have their weekly meet up at a table in their local park.

They take a seat, the ladies chat with one another across the table, as do the gents.

Fred asks Harold "Are you still going to that memory clinic?"

Harold says "Yes, it's been helping my memory a lot, I recommend you come along to our next session"

"What do they do there?" asks ...

A nail company wants to expand their business...

The firm, a long-established family company called Wilson's Nails, has seen their revenue declining in recent years and decides to try an ad campaign to boost sales. They contact a highly regarded Madison Avenue ad agency to produce an ad for them; After a few weeks, the agency sits the owners and s...

A man went to visit his elderly parents

He asked his father "How have you been lately?"

The father said "Well, we found a great new restaurant! But I can't remember the name of it- my memory's just not what it used to be. What's the name of that flower, with the thorns, can be red or white or pink..."

"A Rose?" the son sug...

Two elderly couples get together to play bridge every week.

The ladies are in the kitchen making snacks and the old guys are talking. One says to the other "we went to see a movie last week and it was excellent but I can't remember the name of it. I thinks it's uhhh... what's the name of the flower with the red petals and the thorns?" His friend answers "a r...

Rose . . .

Two elderly men are talking while their wives prepare supper.

The first man says "we went to this really amazing restaurant the other day, you have to try it."

The second replies "we would love to, what is it called? "

After a long pause the first man, clearly confused, asks "w...

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Name That Restaurant

Two older couples are preparing to go out to dinner. They met at one of the couples home for a pre dinner cocktail. While the two women were conversing in the kitchen, the men were talking in the living room. One man says to the other ‘oh, we went to a really nice restaurant last week, but I can’t f...

That restaurant...

Bob and his wife, who live in a retirement residence, are out for a stroll round the grounds one day, and meet up with their neighbour, Ted.

They exchange news, including Bob saying: "Oh hey Ted, me and the missus went to a great restaurant last night."

"Really," says Ted. What was i...

Two Elderly Couples are Having Dinner…

Man #1: “We had dinner last week at this amazing restaurant. Four courses and a dessert that was heaven”

Man #2: “Sounds nice. What was the name of it?”

Man #1: “Oh jeez, my mind isn’t as good as it was, I’m drawing a blank. What’s the name of that flower with the thorns on it?”
...

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I Forget the Name

Two elderly men are conversing and drinking wine while their wives prepare dinner in the kitchen. As the discussion begins to dwindle, Tom and Norman decide to delve into their limited pop culture knowledge.

"Well now, Tom," says Norman, "me and Carolyn tuned into one of those nightly talk s...

Clueless Neighbor

My neighbor is a nice guy but he can be a little clueless. His wife spends every weekend out with her coworkers but he doesn't mind because he loves to work in their garden. One day when I was mowing the backyard I saw that he was pruning his prize roses when he started using colorful language and h...

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

Two old married couples are driving to dinner. The two old wives are sitting in the back seat, the two old husbands sitting in the front seat.

"Where are we going for dinner?" Frank asks Harry.

"I forget," Harry says. "It's, uh... it's... what's the name of the flower, the red one?"<...

Two older couples are hanging out together.

While the ladies are talking in the kitchen, Jim said, "Bill, we ate at a really good restaurant the other night. The food was good, the prices were reasonable, and the service was excellent."

Bill replied, "Oh yeah? What's the name of the place, I've been looking for a new restaurant."...

Superior

A lion woke up one morning with the urge to assert his superiority over his fellow beasts.

He strode over to a monkey, and roared "Who is the Mightiest of Animals?"

"You are, Master," said the monkey, cowering.

Then the lion approached a warthog. "Who is the Mightiest of Animals...

An elderly man was at a dinner party

An elderly man at a dinner party was telling a small group about the wonderful restaurant he and his wife went to a couple of days before. The food was fantastic and the service impeccable. When someone asked him the name of it, he couldn't remember.

"I can't remember. Help me here..." He a...

Alzheimer’s

Carl, a man with Alzheimer’s, goes out to a nice restaurant with his wife. The next day his friend Adam comes to visit him.

Carl: We went to an amazing restaurant last night, everything was perfect. The food, the atmosphere, the service, it was all unbelievably good!

Adam: Really? What...

I understand why Jesus was crucified

But the crown of thorns is a real head scratcher.

Two elderly couples are spending time together one evening...

John and Henry are sitting in the living room by the fire: “John, how was your date last night?”

“Oh it was wonderful! We went to this great restaurant.”

“Oh yeah? What was it called?”

“It’s called...uhh...what’s the name of that flower, the red one with the thorns?”

“A r...

Two old men are sitting on the porch,

their wives in the kitchen. One says to the other, "Bob you should try that restaurant we went to last night. Best food I've had in a long time."

"Yeah Joe? What was it called?" asked Bob.

"Well, I can't seem to remember...What is the name of that red flower, you know with the thorn...

Two elderly couples are chatting over tea.

Afterwards, as the women excuse themselves and return the dishes to the kitchen, one of the men turns to the other and tells him about a fantastic dinner he and his wife had enjoyed the other evening.
The second man then asks him where they ate.
"Hmm," ponders the first man. "You know that fl...

2 elderly couples were walking down a street, the husbands were talking to each other and the wives were talking to each other...

Husband 1: "I went to a restaurant recently and it was absolutely delightful. For the first time my wife really enjoyed herself:

Husband 2: "That sounds wonderful, I should take my wife there, what was the name of the place?"

H1: "Uh, lets see... a flower.. it's got red petals.. green ...

A gentleman and his wife are out to dinner with some friends.

In conversation, the man goes to tell his friend about a restaurant he took his wife to the other day.

"Oh, it was absolutely fantastic. The food was perfect, the service was quick. For $12 we got five plates absolutely filled with the best food we've ever eaten! I'll never forget this restau...

An ok joke

Francis had memory loss. He was chatting with his friend, Richard, in his nursery home. Richard asks him “ Hey, how is that new memory clinic working out for you?”

“It’s going great!” Francis said. “I can remember everything.”

So then Richard asks him “ What’s the name of the clinic?”<...

Three men die and are at the pearly gates ...

St Peter explains to them that, while in the old days God demanded that only Christians who closely studied the Bible could get into Heaven, times have changed and requirements have been relaxed. These days, you only need to know the basics.
St Peter turns to the first man and says, "if you can...

Two old couples have dinner together...

...and afterwards, the wives go into the kitchen to make coffee while the husbands sit chatting at the table.

"So, Frank, you been eating out at all?"

"Yeah, we went to a new restaurant last week--you'd love it!"

"Really? What is it called?"

"Oh, gosh, me and my memory.....

Two sclerotic grannies are coming back from the cinema.

They encounter a grandson of one of them, who asks:
- "Hi grandma, what movie did you watch at the cinema?"
The old lady tries to remember the word she wants to say, but has trouble due to her bad memory, so she tries to guide the boy with the hints.
- "Umm... It's that thing that sticks fr...

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The shepherd and the lost goat

A TV crew was filming a documentary in a small mountain village, and for their ending sequence they wanted to interview one of the many shepherds around.

\- So, could you tell us about a happy memory being a shepherd here?
\- A happy memory... mmmh... Yes, see, there was that time. A goa...

— You know, that doctor actually managed to improve my memory.

— Really? That's great! What's his name?

— Umm... you know that flower, the beautiful one, with red petals, a nice smell and thorns?

— You mean a rose?

— Yes, rose, exactly, thank you! (turning to his wife) Rose, honey, what's my doctor's name?

IMPROVE YOUR MEMORY

Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other: “Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?”
“Outstanding”, Fred replied. “They taught us all the latest psychological techniques – visualization, association – it has made a big difference ...

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories.

so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association. A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him. "What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor. "Oh, ummmm, let's see,"...

The memory clinic

1st man: how is that memory clinic you’ve been going to?

2nd man: they said when you can’t remember something, describe it and whoever you’re talking to will help you recall.

1st man: what’s the name of this clinic?

2nd man: what do you call that flower that has thorns and is re...

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A great storm is brewing....

I was at my neice's pool party last Saturday. She got an inflatable dolphin for her birthday. We were all having a great time, when the wind started blowing a bit harder and some clouds rolled in. Over the next 10 minutes it just started getting windier and windier and the skies turned dark. In the ...

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Two neighbors were chatting over the fence one Saturday afternoon.

"So how's it going, Mike?" one neighbor asked.

"Tell you what," Mike said, "I haven't been able to remember anything lately. Just comes in my head and leaves just as fast. But I went to the doctor, and he gave me something to improve my memory. It's a lot better now, actually."

"What'd...

2 old men with alzheimer's are chatting about the good old day's

The one askes the other

'What's the name of the game reserve we use to go to every summer?'

The other guy thinks for a minute before he turns to his wife and asks...

'Honey, what do you call the red flower with the thorns on the stem?'

'A rose' she replys

He then a...

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An elderly man and woman enter the bar and ask the bartender for their usual drinks.

The bartender serves them, speaking to the man, "Mr. Johnson, it's been awhile since we saw you last, how are you and your wife doing? We were worried about you, the last time you came in you didn't seem to recognize or remember anyone."

The elderly gentleman responds, "Well, you know how it ...

Two Elderly Couples Were Having Dinner...

...when one of the men says to the other man of the group, "Hey Stan, tell us about the college course you recently took!" Stan looks up from his dinner and says, "Oh, it was great! It was a memory class to help me to remember things better."


"Did it work?" the other guy asks.

...

Every Friday night for years, two couples have met to play bridge

The husbands always team up against the wives. One Friday night, during a break in game play, the women head to the kitchen, leaving the guys at the card table.
“You know, Bob,” says Steve, “we’ve played bridge every Friday night for years, and every Friday night I have to help you remember whic...

A Great Italian Place

Two elderly couples get together every Sunday night for dessert and coffee. One Sunday, while the wives are in the kitchen, the husbands are chatting about restaurants. "We found a lovely little Italian place in town" one husband says. "Delicious manicotti, great wines, just perfect."
"W...

Happy Easter

Three blondes died in a car crash trying to jump the Grand Canyon and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St Peter tells them that they can enter the gates only if they can answer one simple religious question. The question posed by St. Peter is "What is Easter"?

The first blonde replies, "Oh...

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Variations of a nail joke. (Heard at a Ren Faire, modified)

The Goldman Nails company is trying to bolster business. They start a contest to create an advertisement for the business. The first submission is from an older lady.

It starts with a man with a beard in a white robe hammering away at wood. The shot pulls back to reveal an massive wooden s...

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So these two couples had known each other for decades, and would meet once a month for dinner.

It was always the same routine, they would meet at one couples house, and after dinner the women would go to the kitchen to clean up and catch up (not saying it's not sexist, but they were raised in different times) and the men would go to the living room for some catching up of their own.

T...

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Old People

There was this group of "couple friends" who met regularly and over the years they turned into old people. For years and years they would get together regularly. It was the standard old people get together. The women would gather in the kitchen and talk and the men would sit around in the living ...

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Tarzan was swinging through the jungle high in the canopy and his vine breaks....

He fell hitting jagged branches and thorns for about a hundred feet or so and slammed into the ground below wounded and dying.

A few hours later a witch doctor comes across him and decides to drag his lifeless body to his hut to try to help him. The witch Dr. examines Tarzan and sees that dur...

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Jim's Birthday Hat

Jim's birthday was coming up, and as much as he enjoyed his birthday, he dreaded the obligations that came with it. Despite his vehement protests, his wife had arranged lunch with the whole family, including his witch of a mother-in-law. But Jim was a good man and said he'd be on his best behaviour....

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Sacrilegious ad-man

Father Bill is down at his local pub one night when he runs into Don, an old friend from school. They start talking old times and eventually Don brings the conversation around to the fact that Bill seems to be a man of the cloth.

"You see Bill, I'm actually in advertising, and I've been worki...

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