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Pain In The Ass Jokes

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Life without women would be a pain in the ass

Literally.

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Lot of men say women are a pain in the ass.

I disagree.

If there were no women on Earth, the pain in the ass would be even more.

You wanna know what's a real pain in the ass?

Hemorrhoids.

Why is buying raw iron such a pain in the ass?

I don't know. It's just a real ore deal.

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Last night I was offered a threesome by two hot twins

Sex with Jessica felt great, but Jeremy was a pain in the ass.

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When my sister was little, she was the biggest pain in the ass

Now she’s older.

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I accidentally lost my sex toy the other day.

It was a real pain in the ass finding it.

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What do you call a confusing sharp pain in the ass immediately after a break up?

An ex or cist?

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If sex gives you a pain in the ass

You're doing it wrong.

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I told my wife that she was a dick and a pain in the ass

"So what you're saying is that you love me" was her answer

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What do you call it when you sit on a French baguette?

A pain in the ass.

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We finally removed some ticks from the donkey today.

They were being a pain in the ass.

I just got diagnosed having cellulitis in my leg.

Of course it hurts like hell. I'm just glad it wasn't higher: then it'd really be a pain in the ass!

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Son: Dad, what if one day all the women disappeared?

Dad: That's gonna be a pain in the ass.

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Gays are a huge pain in the ass

Maybe I shouldn't bottom next time

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My wife said "Birthday sex is a pain in the ass"

I said "That's an option"

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A golfer knows which way the wind is blowing by employing a clever tactic involving grass.

But it must be a pain in the ass to lug around a bong.

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I hate small underpants

They're a pain in the ass.

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The water pressure on my bidet is way too high…

It’s a real pain in the ass.

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My local French boulangerie owner was accused of bestiality, but I'm not surprised.

He was such a pain in the ass.

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When I was a kid, my aunt told me men are a pain in the ass (OC)

Now I understand why her nickname was backdoor girl.

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Did you hear about the guy that stuck a baguette up his butt?

It was a pain in the ass.

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Prostate massages are like stickers with excessively strong glue.

It’s a pain in the ass to get off.

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What is the difference between a dick and an asshole?

An asshole smiles at your face, say good things about you which he doesn't mean and stabs you in the back.

A dick on the other hand, is always a pain in the ass.

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How did Meghan feel after her first night with Harry?

She said it was a royal pain in the ass.

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What was the ottoman's opinion about Vlad the Impaler?

He was a big pain in the ass.

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I asked my buddy about his experience in prison...

He told me it was a really big pain in the ass.

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Why don't young boys like going to church?

It's a massive pain in the ass.

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Do you know why some people dont like anal?

Its a pain in the ass

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Ever put baguettes up your butthole?

Le pain in the ass

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My donkey just ate the last of my French bread

It's a pain in the ass situation

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I just found out about a type of bread that’s used as a dildo in france

It’s a pain in the ass

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If recently got a cut in my anus

It’s a real bum-deal, a total pain in the ass and definitely makes for a shitty situation.

My doctor says I can’t get birth control

It’s been a real pain in the ass

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I was just thinking of this

Today was my first time being constipated and i realize how much of a pain in the ass it is

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What do I, after a week of game binging, have in common with a hardcore anal porn actress/actor ?

It's a pain in the ass afterwards, and I have to learn to walk again.

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I stopped carrying my wallet around.

It was a pain in the ass.

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Did you hear about the perfect couple?

He’s a proctologist and she’s a pain in the ass.

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Pitching a tent is a lot like sex

The pole goes in the hole and if you fuck it up it’s a pain in the ass

Girls: Why are brothers such a pain in the ass?

Me : Thought you loved anal

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I thought I’d found my dream job as a male prostitute

But it turned out to be a pain in the ass.

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A daughter asks her dad, “Why is my brother named Haemorrhoids? It’s such a strange name.”

The dad responds: “Well, when he was born we wanted him to make sure he grew up humble and didn’t get too big an ego. So, we named him after something that everybody hates and is a big pain in the ass.”

Daughter: “Oh, that makes sense. Thanks Dad!”

Dad: “You’re welcome Karen.”

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Little Johnny

Little Johnny goes to the gym one day where he over hears a man on a tread mill talking about how workouts are a real pain in the ass. Little Johnny asks the man what that means, the man replies with “ oh it is just an add on used to give something more meaning”

So later that day Johnny goes...

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The Vikings were the ones that took it upon themselves to spread sexual education to the world around them

*Even if it had to be mandatory*




Which kinda made it a constant pain in the ass

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I wish my penis knew how I felt about him

He’s a dick to me, but he is only a pain in the ass to other people, sometimes.

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My Dad told me stabbing a Donkey is easy

It turned out to be a real pain in the ass.

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My preist suggested I come to church more often.

He's a real pain in the ass.

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Having to spend time with your mother in law is sort of like using anal beads

Sometimes it can be surprisingly pleasant, but usually it’s just a pain in the ass

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