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What do you take for a pain in the ass?

Anusthetic.

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Lot of men say women are a pain in the ass.

I disagree.

If there were no women on Earth, the pain in the ass would be even more.

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My wife said "Birthday sex is a pain in the ass"

I said "That's an option"

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I told my wife that she was a dick and a pain in the ass

"So what you're saying is that you love me" was her answer

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If sex gives you a pain in the ass

You're doing it wrong.

You wanna know what's a real pain in the ass?

Hemorrhoids.

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Son: Dad, what if one day all the women disappeared?

Dad: That's gonna be a pain in the ass.

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What do you call it when you have a baguette in your asshole?

Pain in the ass

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Prostate massages are like stickers with excessively strong glue.

It’s a pain in the ass to get off.

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What is the difference between a dick and an asshole?

An asshole smiles at your face, say good things about you which he doesn't mean and stabs you in the back.

A dick on the other hand, is always a pain in the ass.

My doctor says I can’t get birth control

It’s been a real pain in the ass

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Did you hear about the guy that stuck a baguette up his butt?

It was a pain in the ass.

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When I was a kid, my aunt told me men are a pain in the ass (OC)

Now I understand why her nickname was backdoor girl.

Girls: Why are brothers such a pain in the ass?

Me : Thought you loved anal

Mondays are like prostate exams...

A pain in the ass, but at least they only happen once per week.

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I asked my buddy about his experience in prison...

He told me it was a really big pain in the ass.

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Half of the people who tried anal liked it

The other half says its a pain in the ass

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I accidentally lost my sex toy the other day.

It was a real pain in the ass finding it.

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My sister married a guy named Richard Luvanal.

He's always a pain in the ass.

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I was just thinking of this

Today was my first time being constipated and i realize how much of a pain in the ass it is

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My donkey just ate the last of my French bread

It's a pain in the ass situation

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What do I, after a week of game binging, have in common with a hardcore anal porn actress/actor ?

It's a pain in the ass afterwards, and I have to learn to walk again.

I just bought a hot water bidet

Real pain in the ass

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How did Meghan feel after her first night with Harry?

She said it was a royal pain in the ass.

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I just found out about a type of bread that’s used as a dildo in france

It’s a pain in the ass

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As much as I liked that rectal fever thermometer app on the iPhone...

... on the iPad it's a fucking pain in the ass.

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I went to Taco Bell last night,

This morning it's a pain in the ass.

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If recently got a cut in my anus

It’s a real bum-deal, a total pain in the ass and definitely makes for a shitty situation.

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Ever put baguettes up your butthole?

Le pain in the ass

My wife’s asked for a threesome

The dude she brought back is a pain in the ass

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Why don't young boys like going to church?

It's a massive pain in the ass.

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I stopped carrying my wallet around.

It was a pain in the ass.

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I wish my penis knew how I felt about him

He’s a dick to me, but he is only a pain in the ass to other people, sometimes.

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I thought I’d found my dream job as a male prostitute

But it turned out to be a pain in the ass.

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Little Johnny

Little Johnny goes to the gym one day where he over hears a man on a tread mill talking about how workouts are a real pain in the ass. Little Johnny asks the man what that means, the man replies with β€œ oh it is just an add on used to give something more meaning”

So later that day Johnny goes...

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Pitching a tent is a lot like sex

The pole goes in the hole and if you fuck it up it’s a pain in the ass

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The Vikings were the ones that took it upon themselves to spread sexual education to the world around them

*Even if it had to be mandatory*




Which kinda made it a constant pain in the ass

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Real men never tell jokes about anal

Because crappy jokes are a pain in the ass

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When you have an "I hate my job" day

When you have an "I hate my job" day, try this out:

Stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson.

Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect ...

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My Dad told me stabbing a Donkey is easy

It turned out to be a real pain in the ass.

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I’m not homophobic or anything but...

Gays are a pain in the ass

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My preist suggested I come to church more often.

He's a real pain in the ass.

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Last week I confused Tinder with Grindr.

It was a real pain in the ass.

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Did you know that gorillas prefer doggy style?

It makes my job as an ape sperm collector a real pain in the ass.

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Having to spend time with your mother in law is sort of like using anal beads

Sometimes it can be surprisingly pleasant, but usually it’s just a pain in the ass

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I considered eating my neighbor's obnoxious kid.

Then I realized he'd still be a little shit and a pain in the ass.

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My local French boulangerie owner was accused of bestiality, but I'm not surprised.

He was such a pain in the ass.

I hate the french and their food related fetishes

They're a pain in the ass

Why does little Jimmy hate church?

The Priest is a pain in the ass

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Constipation is a real problem.

If you ignore that shit, it’ll become a real pain in the ass.

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So me and this girl have been getting together pretty regularly to play Scrabble on the weekends...

...the other day we decided to meet at a bar after work and I made a joke about how it's too bad we can't play Scrabble in the bar, hoping she'd say, "We can still play Scrabble on our cellphones!" because everybody knows about those Scrabble apps, right? (Man, I could really go for a good game of S...

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Penises are a lot like Indian food...

Anything more than a mouth full is gonna be a pain in the ass later.

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