Thesaurus Jokes

To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.

Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.

The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."

The Dictionary responds "Yo... read more

that you do not talk, whisper, chatter, mumble, rant, articulate, prattle, babble, describe, divulge, drone, confer, deliberate, squeal, converse, discourse, orate or speak about Thesaurus Club.

A thesaurus strolls into a bar.

A thesaurus saunters into a bar.

A thesaurus ambles into a bar.

A thesaurus walks into a bar.

A thesaurus plods into a bar.

A thesaurus hikes into a bar.

A thesaurus treks into a bar.

A thesaurus wanders into a bar.
... read more

A synonym roll.

You don't talk about, mention, speak of, discuss or chat about Thesaurus Club

Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

The dictionary replied, "I know what you mean"

The thesaurus said, "I feel the same way"

And the atlas said, "I can see where you're coming from"

It was terrible.

Not only is it terrible, it’s delicious.

I am at a loss for words.

it's also bad.

I told her that made me feel bad, really bad, like bad, so bad, not good, and just... bad.

She then apologized.

Synonyms.

He said nope.

Her: Same.

Me: Maybe we should get a thesaurus?

in fact I'd go as far to say that it's terrible

I just can't describe how angry I am.


(Edit: credit to emul4tion for suggesting a tighter version of my original)

Well played ninjas, well played.

very very very very very very very very badly.

A car, an automobile, motor carriage , a motor vehicle.

But I wouldn't say it's anything to write house about.

It was rubbish

But when I opened it every single page was blank.
I didn't have the words to describe how angry I was.

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback.

Now I'm impecunious.

because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.

It’s a play on words

They’re unnecessary, worthless and redundant.

The result was futile.

useless

Lexicon.

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

but it also died 65 million years ago

They had none left. It was just terrible, and terrible.

A thesaurus