I've spent my isolation reading the thesaurus.

Because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.

I bought a new thesaurus today and it’s terrible

Not only is it terrible but it’s also terrible!

A girl just finished telling her problem to a dictionary, thesaurus and an atlas...

The dictionary replied, "I know what you mean"

The thesaurus said, "I feel the same way"

And the atlas said, "I can see where you're coming from"

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Thesaurus' crashed on the highway last Thursday.

According to the Daily news, witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, surprised, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, boggled, horrified, numbed, and perplexed that items falling off ...

My girlfriend accused me of stealing her thesaurus

Not only was I shocked, I was also aghast, appalled and dismayed.

I asked my horse if he stole my thesaurus.

He said nope.

I own the world's worst thesaurus.

Not only is it awful, it's awful.

Yesterday I bought a thesaurus, but when I got home and opened it, all the pages were blank...

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

My brother has been writing a stage drama about a dictionary and a thesaurus. I'm really looking forward to it.

I love a play on words.

What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?

A synonym roll.

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.

The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."

The Dictionary responds "Yo...

Ed: I bought the world's worst thesaurus today.

Fred: How bad is it?

Ed: Not only is it awful, it's awful!

What do you find if you look up the word thesaurus in a thesaurus?

Synonyms.

Someone stole my thesaurus.

I'm so angry. Really angry. Just so angry.

One time at school, I lost my thesaurus.

I couldn't find the words to describe how upset I was.

My new thesaurus is terrible

In fact I'd go as far to say it's terrible.

Rule number 1 of the thesaurus club:

Never discuss, mention, speak of, or talk about Thesaurus Club.

I typed “ninjas” into thesaurus.com. It said “ninjas cannot be found.”

Well played ninjas, well played.

What did the dictionary say when it got a cold?

I had thesaurus throat ever.....




I'll see myself out

After reading the thesaurus I have a strong vocabulary of useless synonyms.

They’re unnecessary, worthless and redundant.

A thesaurus walks into a bar

, pub, inn, tavern, bistro, watering hole.

I used to be poor. Then I bought a thesaurus.

Now I'm impecunious.

To whoever stole my thesaurus...

To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person.

Thesauruses are, for lack of a better word,

useless

What dinosaur is good with synonyms and is a megalomaniac?

Thesaurus

I’ve written a theatre production called “Thesaurus.”

It’s a play on words

Man, I hate this new thesaurus I got

I can’t even find the words to describe how useless it is.

The author of what’s been described as “the world’s worst thesaurus” has dismissed the comments.

He’s described the comments as unfair, unfair and unfair.

Someone at school stole my thesaurus.

I just can't describe how angry I am.


(Edit: credit to emul4tion for suggesting a tighter version of my original)

I was angry at my roommate for buying a new thesaurus every week

So i told her "Enough is enough!"

I just lost my thesaurus.

Not only am I mad, but I'm also mad.

I went to the store today to buy a thesaurus..

They had none left. It was just terrible, and terrible.

In this day and age, keeping a paper thesaurus around the house is as useless as....

Um....as useless.....as.....um.....

First Rule of Thesaurus Club:

You don't talk, discuss, converse, speak, chat, confer, deliberate, gab, or gossip about Thesaurus Club.

I tried using a thesaurus to find synonyms for useless.

The result was futile.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate being used as a thesaurus.

A mate just asked another term for "monkey dung" and I went apeshit.

Not only is my new Thesaurus terrible...

but it also died 65 million years ago

What's a thesaurus's favorite cereal?

Synonym Toast Crunch

I see your thesaurus joke and raise you mine. Did you here about the truck full of thesauruses that crashed?

Onlookers were shocked, astounded, agape, flabbergasted, and taken aback.

I’ll give up my thesaurus...

when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.

Ya'll seem to like puns, so:

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Tita...

What's another word for thesaurus?

Lexicon.

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