The Script Jokes - 29 Hilarious The Script Jokes

Writing the script for the Tetris movie must be hard,

Every time they write a line, it disappears.

What is the script editors blood Type?

Type O !

A theater actor kept forgetting his lines, so he painted the script on the stage.

It was a play on words.

The script for the upcoming Tetris movie is terrible

Each actor just says four lines and then disappears.

I've just finished the script for a film I titled "American Schools"

Shooting starts soon.

In 8th grade english class I wrote a script titled "The Pun"

The very first set description in the script said that the stage was to be painted over with random words and phrases.

When I handed in the assignment, my teacher came up to me and asked: "Why is your script titled 'The Pun' and why is the floor covered with phrases?"

"Because m...

I want to write a show called "Pun". I'll have the script printed out and taped to the floor of the set.

It'll be a play on words.

On a film set, everyone is getting ready to start shooting, when the director calls for his assistant to bring him the script.

The assistant runs onto set and starts kicking over props, crawling around the floor and frantically pulling his hair.

As the assistant starts tearing off his clothes and shaking them around, the director thinks to himself, "He's lost the plot!"

The Tetris movie is finally coming out in 2023 after numerous delays.

Every time they finished a line in the script, it disappeared.

I was once in a meeting with a bunch of people raving about how the script for Tommy Wiseau’s movie is amazing. I finally just said “I doubt it” and they all fell silent and stared at me in anger, until one of them said,

“You really need to read the room.”

A calligrapher died peacefully in his sleep.

He soon woke up in a land of paradise. He spent the next few days exploring. Heaven was exactly as he imagined—pristine rolling hills, golden castles upon cloud tops, reunions with lost loved ones, and endless opportunities to explore one's hobbies. He had access to the finest selection of inks and ...

Good news, I'm finally going to get something I wrote produced for the stage.

I've lined up some great people to perform in it. The producer read the script, titled "I Pun, Therefore I Am,” and asked me if it was a musical.

Sadly, I told him no. It's just a play on words.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Husband comes home from his doctor's appointment telling his wife that he has a prescription for daily sex.

She grabs the script and says 'Nice try, this for dyslexia' !!!

People could never make 'Blazing Saddles' nowadays.

If you gave the script to a movie studio, they'd say, "This is the script for 'Blazing Saddles,' why are you giving this to me?"

To be or not to be?

I failed my audition as Romeo through a misunderstanding over a stage direction.
My copy of the script said: 'Enter Juliet from the rear'

Just been arrested by the police after recently being given the part of Romeo in my local theater.

The script clearly said ‘Enter Juliet from behind’.

Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger

So one day, Sylvester Stallone, Jean-Claude Van Dam, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were sitting together in a bar, kicking back, drinking a few brews, talking about life and talking about the roles they'd played in movies.

As the three men talked, each was surprised to realize that all three of t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was really worried that my premature ejaculation would wreck my career as a porn star.

"Christ I'm nervous," I said to the director on the first day of filming.

"Don't worry lad,you'll be fine," he said. "Just stick to the script."

"I already have." I replied.

During the shooting of a movie...

Director: Now we'll let the lion out of the cage and he'll chase but don't worry he won't eat you.

Actor: What makes you so sure?

Director: It's in the script.

Actor: Has the lion read the script?

If you give an infinite amount of monkeys with typewriters an infinite amount of time, they will eventually recreate all of Shakespeare's masterpieces accidentally...

But give them five minutes, and they'll have the script of The Last Jedi.

Just announced, they are making a movie based on Tetris...

Apparently it was due to start filming this year but writing the script was taking longer than expected as every time they finished a line it would disappear.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy travels to LA to audition for a movie and finally get his big break

His plane lands and he gets a call from his agent saying "Quick! Book the first flight back to New York I got you a part in a play!"
Guy says "Great, when is it?"
Agent says, "tonight is opening night, I'll email you the script. The part you are playing only has one line."
The guy is disap...

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One day a new stage play was released that was supposed to be the #1 comedy of the year.

Unfortunately from the get go it had poor reviews frequently stating that it just wasn't that funny. The writer of the script was at a loss and was getting ready to cancel the show when his friend called.

He told him he had just watched the show and true to the reviews it was pretty terrible...

Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack.

He was released after it was determined that it was the script for Ghostbusters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Religion is a bit like porn.

You know deep down it’s all lies but you still buy it.

It’s a multi-billion dollar industry making a few people very rich.

It distorts reality, inciting desires it never satisfies.

AND the scripts it’s based on leave allot to be desired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tom Hanks walks into WB studios

Tom Hanks walks into the WB studios and enters one of the many conference rooms.
As he sits down for the read -through, he notices his fellow peers sitting at the table Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill's mustache, Gal Gadot and a couple of other people he was he was only vaguely familiar with. He picks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old man goes to the doctor for a prescription for Viagra.

The doctor runs some tests and finds him to be healthy enough for sexual activity, and writes him the script. As the old man is leaving the doctor's office he asks if he can cut the pills into fourths. The doctor, a little confused, remarks "I don't think you'll be able to achieve an erection with...

Wearing the pants in the family

A man is getting married, so his father decided to give him advice the night before the wedding. "On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, "Here, try these on."

So, she did and said: "These are too big, I can't wear them.'"
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