The Game Jokes - 56 Hilarious The Game Jokes

Yesterday I watched a match of women's volleyball, and 10 minutes into the game there was a wrist injury.

But by tomorrow I should be fine again.

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A woman was on the way to winning $100,000 on a game show, but her final question was suspended for the next night.

Her husband sneaked into the studio and found the question and answer. He raced home and told his wife "Your question is 'What are the three main parts of the male anatomy', and the answer is 'The head, heart and penis.'

The woman thinks about this throughout the night, but keeps forgettin...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience.

"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, ...

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It was Friday night. Frank, Jim and Ed were at the game ready to watch 26 infected zombie girls tear each other to pieces.

Tied around the inside of the arena, the infected girls are labelled A-Z, with fresh meat tied to their backs to entice them to fight. The winner is the last one standing.

Over 50,000 spectators watch from the stands behind a wire fence, betting slips in hand and eager for the fight to begin....

After winning the game, I threw the ball into the crowd just like they do on TV.

Apparently that's unacceptable in bowling.

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The coach grimaced as he watched his young ice hockey team. At one point during the game, he called one of his 7-year-old players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded affirmatively...

"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"

The little boy nodded once more.

"So..." the coach continued. "I'm sure you know that when a penalty is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a pecker-...

Love for the game.

It’s the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No,” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” sai...

What do you call the game Operation without the batteries?

Autopsy

A 90-year-old golfer tells his wife that he is quitting the game.

"But why?" asks his wife.
"Well, it's my eyesight. I can't see where the ball goes after I hit it".
The wife says, "Listen, you can go with my brother Pete. He might be 103 years old but his eyesight is perfect."
He agrees and finds himself on the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tak...

My flasher friend said he was thinking about retiring from the game

But I convinced him he should stick it out a bit longer

Wife: “Honey let’s play a game?” Husband: “Ok, what is the game all about?”

Wife: "If I mention a country, you will run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. And if I mention a bird you will run to the right side of the room and touch the wall. If you run to the wrong direction, you will give me all your salary for the month."

Husband: "Ok and if you fail,...

A certain President of the Uinted States attends a World Series Game.

As the game is about to begin, the President grabs his wife and throws her through the window of the VIP box. As she lands on the horrified attendees seated below, a frantic aide comes running over yelling

"Nonononono, Mr. President! It's "throw the first *pitch*!"

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A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa." ...

I got SO ANGRY at the game the other day, I slammed my mouse...

The pet race was kinda awkward after...

Why are The Smashing Pumpkins afraid of the game Wordle?

Because the Wordle is a vampire

Our soccer team is not too good. In the game today, the opposing team hit the bar twice in the first half.

They could have at least waited till the end of the game to celebrate.

I never understood why in the game of golf they call it the rough…

And not the foreground

Some of my friends loved the game Battleship while the others absolutely hated it.

It was…hit or miss.

How does Mario communicate after he dies in the game?

He uses a Luigi board.

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Two men are fishing one day, when the game warden approaches them and asked to see their fishing licenses.

One man takes off running at a full sprint, and instinctively the warden chases after him.

He chased the man over a hill and through a field, around the lake, and through the town, until finally he catches up with him.

“Aha! Gotcha! Now show me your fishing license!”

“Sure thin...

A young boy enters a barber shop..

...and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
...

R Kelly really changed the game

He took the ‘art’ out of rap artist

When is the game not a game?

When it’s afoot!

Apparently, all the tents from the Game of Thrones sets are being redecorated for use in a new mini-series on Genghis Khan.

I am not sure why anyone is surprised about the recycled Khan tent.

An avid football fan was at the game, seated in a first row seat on the 50 yard line anxiously awaiting the opening kickoff. The seat next to him was empty...

A man sitting further back in the stands, noticed the empty seat, so he got out of his seat and went down to talk with the guy. He asked if anyone was sitting in the empty seat. The guy said, "Nope, it's empty".

In total disbelief, The other guy said, "WHAT?? Who would leave the best seat ...

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

David Benioff and Dan Weiss wrote this joke for the loyal viewers of the Game of Thrones series

Season 8

Did you hear about the opera singer who threw the game-opening baseball?

They say he had perfect pitch.

To the game stop hedge fund investors: I know you spent 70 billion.

But the best I can offer you is $4 in credit.

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

All of the fans left.

Jose and the Game.

Jose snuck across the border to America from Mexico and wanted to go a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anx...

There is a game show where the person who pees the farthest wins. Guess the name of the game show.

" Urine It To Win It "

The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff.

There’s free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.

Why did the game developer say the sky was blue?

So everyone would have to go outside to check

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A guy named Danny walks into a bar...

A guy named Danny walks into a bar, tells the bartender to get him four shots of the highest proof he has, and says, “I need to forget.”

A pretty girl next to him gets curious and asks, “What do you need to forget?” And Danny replies with, “I’ll tell you but you won’t like it.” “I’ve been wit...

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In the locker room after the game...

The guys have finished playing, have showered, and are getting dressed. Dennis pulls out a black lace bra and panties and starts to put them on.

His team mates begin laughing, and making fun of him. The coach asks, "Hey, Dennis! Since when did you start wearing women's underwear?"

...

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"You ever play the game Fuck, Marry, Kill?"

"In real life, I've done two of those things."

"You were married?"

"No."

^(\*lovingly stolen from Myq Kaplan)

A football/soccer coach yells at his team after the game

"I TOLD YOU TO PLAY LIKE NEVER BEFORE, NOT PLAY LIKE YOU'VE NEVER PLAYED BEFORE"

Why is the game called "Fortnite"?

Because it's only fun for about two weeks.

I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing.

I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"

He said, "I moan but I'm straight"

The number game

A redhead is walking along a railroad track saying "24, 24, 24, 24," etc. A blonde asks "watchable doing?" The redhead just continues on without acknowledging her, so the blonde begins walking along the track repeating "24" as well. A train comes and the redhead stepped off the track. The blonde is ...

COVID-19 - It’s in the game

If you think COVID-19 is bad, you’ll be terrified to hear that EA Sports have bought the rights to COVID-20.

Surviving, vaccine and toilet paper are chargeable DLC packs - with Pay-to-Live (PTL) packs available from Season 2 onwards.

One day a baseball umpire brought his son to a game to watch him work. Dutmring the game, the umpire was rude and insulting, even to the point of spitting and cursing the players. At the end of the game he knelt down and beckoned his son to come sit on his knee. The boy refused saying . . .

The son never sits on the brutish umpire.

What do you call the game of Life after you've lost half of the pieces?

Sorry!

Bubba and the game warden

Bubba always came back from fishing with a lot of fish. The game warden saw him one day and asked how he caught so many. Bubba invited him to fish the next day and the warden said yes.

Once they get to the fishing spot, Bubba takes out a stick of dynamite, lights it, throws it in the water, a...

Fortnite just released a special Jewish edition of the game

It'll have no Thor skin

I started a charity for the billionaire hedge fund investors affected by the Game Stop Short Squeeze.

But Soon after, I realized there’s already a Charity for them, The US Government.

Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?

It's tide.

What would Mark Zuckerberg add to the game, if he created MineCraft?

Data.

So he can mine it.

Who was the most basic person to ever play the game of baseball?

Al Kaline

Thought of this this morning. Pretty sure it's OC.

Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight...

At least act like you've been there before.

“EA Sports. It’s in the Game!”

Also EA: there is no game in this “game”, but thanks for the purchase.

My friends and I were playing a game, where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that has died.

It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.

The weird thing about the game Monopoly

Is that only one company can make it.

Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?

He wanted to beat the crowd..

We all know that punching bag arcade game where you try to punch the bag the hardest.

So, I was standing in line to take my turn at the game. When I suddenly realized what a douche I am, putting myself in the punchline of my own joke.

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