This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The king of france...[NSFW]

...The King of England and The King of Spain are having an argument over who has the biggest penis. Eventually they decide to let the people judge.
They all stand on a stage in front of the people and drop their pants one by one.

The king of France drops his and the French crowd shout "viv...

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by St. Peter at the gates of heaven...

'In honour of this holy season,' he said, 'You must each possess something that symbolises Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'This represents a candle,' he said.

'Very well, you may pass,' said St. Peter...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mime competition

(please note: this joke works best if you actually do the signs when you tell it)


A bar is having a mime competition, and the finalists are an Englishman and an American.

The Englishman starts, putting his hand into a fist.
The American replies, placing his hand in front of him...

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