[Prop comedy] When you're at a formal event,

roll up both ends of your tie and ask, "Which end do you think's gonna unfurl the fastest?"

After they make their guess (or sarcastic remark)--pause for effect--create the atmosphere-- and let them drop!

They'll look at the tie first, then slowly pan up to your goofy grin..

and ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two women are smoking cigarettes outside...

...when all of a sudden, it starts to rain. One woman reaches into her pocketbook and pulls out a small square item. She tears it open and unfurls a condom, only to place it over her cigarette, which keeps it dry.

The other woman looks on in awe. “What is that thing? It’s genius! Normally I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is sitting on his back porch when he sees a teenage boy walking along the road carrying something in his hand...

He yells to the teen "What do you got there?"

The boy yells back "chicken wire"!

"What are you doing with that chicken wire?" asks the man.

The boy yells back, "I'm going to go catch some chickens!"

The man laughs and yells to him, "I don't think you know what you're doi...

A bartender is cleaning some glasses when a pair of blondes walk in...

...and he watches as they sit down at a table together.
He gets their orders but as he walks away he hears them chant, "Fifty-one...fifty-one...fifty-one..."

A few minutes later, a couple of more blondes join them at the table. Getting a bit rowdier with more drinks, they begin to chant l...

Credit to /u/Poem_for_your_sprog

He sat and sighed beside the road -

His engine's gasket blown.

His car was old and cold and towed.

The man was left alone.

-

'I need to find a place to stay

Until it's fixed,' he spoke -

But as he rose to walk away

Arrived a band of folk.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Watchmaker

The Boy was due to meet his friends down the third alley from the green sign. The bar at the end of that alley, they had said, was a place where spirits and souls mixed together with the languid flow of warm summer air.

But The Boy had started drinking when the sun was still ascending, and n...

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