Why does Jesus hate Skittles?

Because they keep rolling through the holes in his hands.

A man is buying a banana, some skittles, and two eggs. The female cashier says: "You must be single."

The man responds: "Wow, how did you know?"


Cashier: "Because you're ugly."

Person 1 says: I like Eminem

Person 2 says: Well, I prefer Skittles.
Person 1 says: No- I meant the rapper.
Person 2 says, confused: Why would you eat the wrapper?

What can Skittles do that guys can't?

Come in a rainbow of flavors.

Being racist is like saying you don't like red skittles

They may be a different colour but they still taste about the same

People are like Skittles

I eat them.

If I have three bags of sour skittles and a child steals one bag of my sour skittles. What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got in trouble for dropping skittles in a Zumba class.

Best game of hungry hippos I’ve seen.

Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars.

The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles.

I walked up to a girl and said, "Skittles, Starburst, Jelly Babies, Haribo, Wine Gums."

"Erm...what?" she asked.

I said, "I'm trying to sweet-talk you into dating me."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two friends walk into a bar

The bartender greets them with a smile and a “What’ll it be boys?”
Friend one speaks up “You know what? I’m not sure. Got anything special?”

The bartender smiles and tosses him an apple.

“What the hell is this?” He cries.
“Just trust me,” says the bartender with a wink.

A...

A local movie theatre was robbed of $600 worth of merchandise

The suspects stole 3 medium popcorns, 1 bag of skittles and 4 small diet cokes.

So a Movie Theatre was robbed

It was discovered that 5 bags of skittles, 10 snickers and 1 bag of Maltesers were stolen. The Theatre representative made a statement that they have lost over 4,500$ in stock was stolen.

The new machine at the gym is my favourite...

It has snicker, skittles, kit kats and twix

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Eminem were gay...

Would he be called Skittles?

So i told my son

So i told my son that he could only have his skittles if he could brush his teeth he walked away sad. Then i remembered that my son has no arms

Saw a new machine at the gym, but could only use it for 20mins before it made me sick

It was great... it had M&M's, Skittles, you name it!

Doctor said a healthy diet consisted of a lot of colors...

So I ate skittles

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes to offend Abrahamic religions

* JESUS SAVES! HE PASSES TO GRETZKY, GRETZKY SHOOTS, GRETZKY SCORES!

* How was copper wire invented?

Two jews found the same penny


* What did the jew do when he heard clouds had silver linings?

Got his pilot's license


* Why doesn't Jesus eat skittles?
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jokes for the week of 4/6-4/12

A French breast scientist advises against wearing bras after a thorough study, thus tying for the best job ever and the best news ever.

A GOP rep said not gays nor NAMBLA can redefine marriage. Thankfully, nine fabulous people in robes can. ‪#suckit‬ ‪#nohomo‬ ‪#somehomo‬ ‪#yeshomo‬

Ki...

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