Sit On Jokes - 13 Hilarious Sit On Jokes

Man: Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Woman: No thanks, I don't like small talk.

Sean Connery once asked his wife to sit on his face.

Once.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you sit on a French baguette?

A pain in the ass.

Cop: sit on that chair, we're gona interrogate you.

Lawyer: \*whispering\* deny everything.
Me: \*loudly\* thats not a chair!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Would you rather sit on a dick and eat cake or sit on a cake and eat dick?

Interviewer: We meant questions about the job

Jack's sitting on the bus

Sitting opposite him is a man trying to bite into an apple.
"What's the matter?" asks Jack.
"I left my false teeth at home", the man replies.
Jack puts his hand in his pocket, "Here, try these", and hands him a set of false teeth.
"Thanks, but they're too big".
Jack hands him another...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the idiot sit on a Xerox machine?

His doctor told him he needed a colon ass copy.

Two homeless dudes sit on a park bench

One askes the other: Did you bring bread for the pigeons?
The other replies: No, I eat them without the bread.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two old men sit on a bench (NSFW)

Two old men sit on a bench chatting about their relationships. The first man moans how his wife never wants sex and has been turning him down for years.

He eventually turns to the other man and sighs,

"Well, anyway, how's that new wife of yours?"

The second man breathes deeply ...

TIL: If you sit on your hand until you can't feel it anymore

and log in to your online banking system. It feels like someone else is paying your bills.

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.

Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?" Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few ...

4 people fighting to sit on the Throne. There's blood, there's guts, there's nudity.

Gonna have to face the facts.

I'm a terrible cook.

I saw a man sitting on a horse head…

I said “Hey, you can’t sit on the horse head head like that, it’s bad for it’s neck.”
And the man replied “This isn’t a horse, it’s a unicorn.”

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