An Englishman, a Frenchman and an Ethiopian all sit in the hospital lobby as their wives are giving birth.

After a while the doctor comes out, invites them into the nursery where 3 babies lie in cribs and says: "Congratulation! You all just became fathers! But there is one problem. Due to a nurse's error the babies got mixed up and we don't really know which one who's."

The Englishman suddenly gra...

Three political prisoners sit in a gulag prison...

One of the men asks the other, "What are you in for?"

He responds, "I opposed Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first man replies "I supported Comrade Popov in 1938. How about you?" he asks the third man

The third man says "I am Comrade Popov."

Three guys sit in a bar complaining about their wives (copied joke)

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and she doesn't have a garage door."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to an iPod and she doesn't have any earphones."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carrie...

Where is a stoners favorite place to sit in a resturaunt

In the high chair

If you ever feel cold, sit in the corner

It's always 90 degrees there

Two german farmers sit in a bar and have have chat.

Suddenly an American tourist enters the bar, sits down at the next table and listens to the conversation. After a few minutes, he turns to the local farmers and asks: "And, how big are your farms? I need 8 hours driving all the way around my farm in good'ol Texas!"

The two german farmers loo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband and wife sit in their bed.

The husband tells his wife; I bet 20$ that you cant say something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.

The wife thinks for a second and says: you have the biggest dick out of all your friends.

If you want to pass your calculus exam, don’t sit in between two identical twins.

It’s very hard to differentiate between them.

A man and his family have trouble finding a place to sit in church...

“A pew!” he says, finally having spotted a place to sit.

“Bless you,” responds the priest.

Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?

A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!

Two lawyers sit in a restaurant.

They're eating homemade sandwiches.
The server comes along and stops them: "Excuse me, but it is not allowed to bring your own food here"

The lawyers share a glance, sigh and trade the sandwiches.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If u sit in the toilet to take a poop at 11:58pm and your still there till 12:03 am

Is it The same shit different day?

A man was looking for a place to sit in a crowded university library...

He asked a girl: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?"

The girl replied, in a loud voice "NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

All the people in the library started staring at the man, who was deeply embarrassed and moved to another table.

After a couple of minutes, the g...

Why did the turkey sit in a tomahawk?

.





To hatchet

I called “Shotgun” long before anyone else did, but I had to still sit in the back seat.

I hate cops.

Why did a brother tell a sister to go sit in the middle of the highway?

Because that’s where accidents belong.

Three vampires sit in a cave in the black of night, sharing a drink, laughing, and generally having a good time that one would not associate with the undead.

The night grew longer, and an observer, should they be careful enough, would learn that vampires can indeed get drunk.

Eventually, the three begin to bicker about which of them is the most powerful and deadly.

The youngest suddenly gets up, and flies off into the night. Almost instantl...

An engineer a Physicist and a Philosopher sit in a Taxi...

The engineer asks " how does it ride?"
The Physicist asks " why does it ride?"
And the philosopher asks "where do you want to ride?"

Three Russian prisoners sit in neighboring cells in the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...

Two monkeys sit in a bath

One monkey says: "OOOH OOOH AAAH AAAH AAH OOH"

The other monkey then says: "Well put some cold water in then."

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