UPJOKE
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Simba Jokes

Why did Simba’s dad die?

Because >!he couldn’t Mufasa than the stampede. !<

Simba runs pretty slow

He needs to Mufasa

Simba was moving too slowly

So i told him to Mufasa

When Simba refused to go back to his Pride, you could say he was just

*A whim away*

Why did Simba’s dad get trampled by wildebeests?

Because he didn’t Mufasa

Why did Simba lose his father?

Because he couldn't Movefasta

First day as a pilot. Control tower: Can you give me your position? Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion. Control tower: Can you be more specific?

Me: Simba

Whats the difference between Simba and Timon?

Simba is a lion, and Timon is a mere cat.

Why did Scar shave Simba?

Heir removal.

what did simba's dad say to him when he was running in a race?

Mufasa! Mufasa!

What did Scar tell Simba when he was getting chased by the stampede?

Move fassa'

What do you call simba when he doesn't tell the truth

The lying king

What did Simba's father say when Simba was walking slowly?

Mufasa

Who cuts Simba's hair?

His mane man.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Who was Simba's Japanese friend?

Ken Ya

Why was Simba looking forward to his paracetamol wearing off?

Because he just couldn’t wait to be aching.

Why did Simba's dad die in a stampede?

Because he didn't Moofassa enough!

Simba, everything that the sun touches is yours

Except the water, that is owned by nestle

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you tell Simba when he's moving too slowly?

Tell him to get his shit together, he's got a kingdom to run.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know,my life is somewhat similar to Simba

The uncles fucked up our childhood

So, I saw Simba walking today..

and he was walking too slow. So I told him "C'mon! Mufasa"!

Edited for a bit more for clarity..

What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?

Mu-fasa

What did Simba say to his father after he died?

Stop lion around!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mufasa: Everything the light touches, is our kingdom. Simba: What about that shadowy pla-?

Mufasa: Did I fucking stutter?

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

How to kill a walking bird?

A plane has 500 bricks in it. One falls out. How many are left?

499

In 3 easy sets explain how to get a giraffe into a refrigerator?

1. Open the door.
2. Put the giraffe in.
3. Close the door.

In 4 easy steps explain how to put an elephant into a refrigerator?
...

A bunch of groan-worthy one-liners

- Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

- Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"

- Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other, "Something's fishy about this."

- Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says, "Oh ...

I.T. auditor and a Blonde

At this point in time in the company, the periodical security audit came around. Everyone's passwords were purged and new ones needed to be implemented. As a bonus to help employees with the grumbling there was an award for the strongest password that was used without problem since the last audit. T...

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