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The Lion King Jokes

I really like the Lion King

and every day the urge to sing one of the songs is just a whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

If The Lion King was a cow movie instead, what would their leader be called?

Moofasa

The Lion King has a lot of Simbalism

badumtss

Why did the one lion die by wildebeests in The Lion King?

Because he didn't Mufasa.

The Lion King is the best way that people from Michigan

can see a group of Lions come together and win

There are 500 bricks on a plane...

- There are 500 bricks on a plane. One falls off. How many are left?

499

- What are the three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, put elephant in, close fridge

- What are the four steps to putting a giraffe in a refrigerator?

Open fridge, t...

What did the Lion King tell Simba when he was walking too slow?

Mu-fasa

My favorite joke

If you have 500 bricks on a plane and you throw one off how many do you now have?

>!499!<

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

>!Open the door, then put the elephant inside!<

How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?

>!Open the door, take the elephant...

If there are 502 bricks in a plane and 1 falls off, how many are left?

>!501.!<

How do you put an elephant in a fridge?

>!You open the door, put the elephant in, and close the door.!<

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

>!You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.!<

So, the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW: The Monkey and the Lion

There was a problem amongst the denizens of the jungle.

A monkey had recently been fucking all the different animals in the jungle against their will, save for the lions, as they are at the top of the food chain. Literally all the different animals had fallen victim to the monkey; he was ind...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lion king gets into a fight and loses his teeth

Consequently he orders the rhinos his personal bodyguard to tell the animal kingdom to bring soft food and if any animal brings hard food they will stick it up in their ass.

A very long line of animals with soft food gets together in the Lion's palace towards the end of the line there is an ...

It's an old joke, but I said it to my kids and their friends and they went hysterical

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left?
499.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps?
Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge.
How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps?
Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in th...

Bog.

I'm in a plane. I have 100 metal plates. Then I drop one from the plane in the sky. How many plates do I have now?

- 99 plates.

Now how do you put a giraffe into a fridge?

- Open the fridge, put the giraffe inside and close the door

Now how do you put an elephant into a f...

The Lion's Birthday

Here's a joke my dad told me once. The story is set in the jungle. It's the lion's birthday today, and everyone is rushing to get the king a birthday present. The lion demands food. Everybody lines up.

The lion roars,

"If you get me something that hurts my teeth, I'll shove it up your...

What do Seasons 1-5 of GOT and The Lion King prove?

Sometimes the greatest stories of our time have a healthy dose of incest

Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

The Serengeti suffered a yearlong drought...

The Serengeti suffered a yearlong drought and, to survive, many animals took to eating their own. The Lion King vowed to resist this abominable fate. But his hunger grew until even he had to swallow his pride.

Unfunny Note: So, because it would be unethical to post jokes that are not your own...

I must be getting old...

While reading a post about someone asking for "short clean jokes" this one came to my mind and I can't believe I remember it entirely after such a long time... I do not remember having read it here but if it's a repeat ~ I'm sorry...

So here goes...

_____________________________
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gordon Ramsay with his son

Son: Hey Dad, let's watch a Disney movie

Gordon: Is it The Lion King?

Son: No, it's Frozen

Gordon: FUCK OFF

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

turtles birthday!

It was the Turtles birthday in the animal kingdom and he was turning 150 years. King of the animals was the lion and he proclaimed, (For Turtles birthday we should have a great party and each animal will say a joke to the Turtle for his birthday. Whoever disrepected the Turtle and did not make him l...

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