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Sickle Jokes

I don’t trust people with a hammer and sickle in their bio.

Big red flag.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was wondering why the book about sex I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality"

Then I realized I was reading the Commie Sutra.

Whats the difference between a scythe and a sickle?

One is a weapon, the other needs to be paired with a hammer.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on a train the other day when two Swedish men sat down next to me

The two introduced themselves as Sven and Olf. Olf in particular was wearing a t-shirt with the USSR flag on and boasted a cap with a hammer and sickle on, so I assumed he was an avid communist. I asked them if either of them knew where I could get alcohol on the train, and Olf piped up:

"If ...

What do you call a drunk communist?

Hammered and sickled.

whats the most common disease among communists?

Hammer and sickle cell anemia.

Harry & Hermione go to Hogsmeade

Since school had started back up in September, hogsmeade visits once again became something to look forward to.

There was the 2nd week of September and then, luckily, one on Hermione's Birthday, just in time to buy her something nice.

Things the next month were the same as usual; Harry...

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A terrorist group decides to hold a public castration of three villagers.

They ask to the first villager for his occupation. When he says that he's a woodsman they castrate him with an axe.

Then they ask to the second villager. Frightened, he says that he's a farmer. They castrate him with a sickle.

When the turn comes to the third villager they see that he ...

What’s the best thing about working in a communist country?

You can chuck a sickle whenever you like.

How does a LGBT Communist get to work?

On their Bi-Sickle!

An Englishman, a Russian and a Greek guy are on the same flight, sitting next to eachother

When they are flying over England, the Englishman says, "England is the best country, check out how well they handle this." he drops a sword out of the window.

When they are flying over Russia, the Russian says, "Mother Russia is the best country, look how efficiently we deal with this." he ...

What does Farmer Travis Scott do when his crops are ready?

He goes Sickle Mode

A ciclist who just started a farming business needs to harvest his crops, what does he do?

He buys sickles

Who was Lenin’s favorite hip-hop artist?

MC Hammer & Sickle

How do you harvest crops in the winter?

With an ice sickle

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders...

When I cast my vote for Bernie Sanders, do I punch the ballot with my sickle or my hammer?

Afraid your kid might be a commie?

Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.

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3 boys are lost in a forest and find a cabin

They knock on the cabin’s door and an old man answers. The kids ask the old man if they can stay there for the night and the old man says “Why of course you can. There’s one rule though. Do not open this closet” the old man points to a door. “If you do there will be consequences!”

The kids, ...

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Hagan pissed off everyone in his Viking village.

Hagan pissed off everyone in his Viking village. One day, the villagers were fed up with his rotten behavior. They grabbed their pitchforks and sickles and ran up the hill to kill the bastard. They get to his house but it’s all locked up. They try peeking in the windows but can’t see a thing. T...

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