UPJOKE
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A guy goes to the barber

How would you like your hair today?

Look, i want this side all but completely shaved, with this 2 spots here bald, this side, shorn, and in the middle do as you please.

I am sorry, but i think that would be too hard to do.

How did you do it last week then?

I gave my pet bird a haircut and now he thinks he's James Bond

Well, I suppose he is a shorn canary

There once was a village whose mayors were all named Benny and had magnificent beards

Legend held that if a mayor shaved his beard off, an ancient curse would transform him into a piece of pottery.

Centuries passed and every Benny was a fair and wise mayor, and never shaved their beards. But one summer, their land was struck by a terrible heat wave. All the men of the villag...
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