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Shooting Range Jokes

I took my kids to the shooting range today.

But they said I had to use the paper targets.

Officer at the shooting range: Get ready, aim, fire at will.

Soldier: Which one is Will?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I took an Olympic sprinter to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

What's the difference between a shooting range and an American college?

About thirty thousand dollars a year.

We should get a gang of us and go to the shooting range.

And have a gang bang.

I no longer call it "heading to the shooting range".

Now it's "going out to yeet."

What do you call an interrupted wedding at a shooting range?

Near Mrs.

Never been to the blindfold shooting range?

You don't know what you're missing.

[Long] I was at the fair and I saw this drunk guy at the shooting range.

He was completely wasted but somehow managed to shoot all the targets. The guy at the stand gave him the first prize :a turtle. I watched the guy leave happily with his prize while bumping into sober people.

Later on, the guy came back swaying to the shooting range, even more drunk. The guy a...

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I asked my grandad for his shooting range

He said: no, you wouldn't make a good principal

[OC] How do americans get to the shooting range?

With the school bus

Last time I went to a shooting range I lost an arm...

They charged me a fee for misplacing a gun.

What's the difference between a shooting range and a school in the US?

You'll find a Safety Officer in the former.

The Cincinnati zoo is putting in a new shooting range for it's employees.

Ooh, sorry I misread that. They are just getting a new gorilla.

I heard that Chicago had a world renowned shooting range. So I went to go check it out. When I got there I couldn’t seem to find it, so I asked for directions...

The guy I asked gave me a funny look and said, “The city of Chicago is the shooting range.”

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A Japanese man walked into a shooting range...

And saw a Chinese man, an American man and a British man arguing over who was the better shooter. The Japanese went over to them and suggested that they get into a competition to settle the argument. They all agreed.

The Japanese man took out an apple from his bag, and put it on his head. H...

A man in rags parks a 40-year-old pickup truck next to a printing store and walks up to the counter.

He says:

- I need 20 pictures of Kim Kardashian. I'll pay later.

The store clerk agrees and makes the prints. The truck guy drives away with them. Some time later, he comes back in decent clothes and a 20-year-old truck, pays for the 20 pictures and says:

- I need 50 pictures of...

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NSFW She's Probably Right

A professor at the University of Oklahoma was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students. Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do y...

Ricardo was a young Italian man.

He lived in Milan. On his 16th birthday his father Antonio, in a rite of passage, gave him a hunting rifle that was a family heirloom. The rifle had been handmade by Antonio’s father who founded the Rolle Carabiner Company after World War II.

Ricardo cherished the rifle and he practiced with...

Many Americans would be surprised to know that we Europeans also have shooting ranges

They're called schools and children are sent there to learn

That takes GUTS!

A General from the Army, Air Force, Marines and an Admiral all get together to decide which branch has the most guts.

The Army General says watch this."Private, Go stand in the middle of that shooting range while I commense a firing drill and don't move.""Yes, Sir!"replies the private as he ...

My first joke - don't crucify me please

Mac decided to go to the shooting range with his friend. Having never shot a gun before, he is a little nervous that he'll embarrass himself by performing poorly at the range but his friend reassures him that he'll do alright. Once they arrive they make their way to the back where the instructor is ...

An American is lecturing a British person,

saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

Americans have a strange dialect.

It's all "sneakers" instead of "trainers"...

... and "sweater" instead of "jumper"...

... and "shooting range" instead of "high school"...

Britons vs. Americans

Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.

If a group of dolphins is called a pod

And a group of crows is called a murder
What’s a group of kids called

A shooting range

Mikhail Kalashnikov visits the United States (based on true story)

For the first time, the legendary father of the AK-47 visits the United States. On his first day there he goes to a shooting range and meets up with Eugene Stoner, the father of America's M16. They discuss the advantages and disadvantages of each of their creations to which Eugene Says:

"My ...

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A man wants to join the CIA

He signs up for recruitment and a couple days later he gets accepted into the training program. The CIA begins to put him through a bunch of tests to see if he's truly qualified to be an agent. He goes to the shooting range, he swims and runs laps to show his endurance, and he trains in martial arts...

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Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and got lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives.

The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.
He asks the first guy what his job was.
"I'm an employee at the shooting range," he replies.
"Then we'...

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At the office of the General Secretary of the Soviet Union, the phone rings.

Comrade Stalin answers it and from the other side of the line a voice says: “This is Tapani from Finland. I am ringing you from Helsinki to inform you that we officially declare war on you!”

Stalin replies: “Well Tapani, that is indeed important news. How big is your army?”

“Right now,...

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One day a man decided that he was going to take up shooting...

So he signed up for a concealed carry license class and got his own weapon. When he was done with the classroom portion, they took the class out to the shooting range to shoot some targets. The instructor told them only to shoot the 3 targets across the range. The man hit all 3 directly in the middl...

Target practice

Out on the shooting range in an area where hunting is forbidden, I encounter two chinese gentleman curious about what happens at this place.

They politely ask if this is where they can shoot some rabbits. No no, I say, shooting rabbits is not legal here. You are only allowed to practice firin...

I'm a Brit and I hate it when I have to correct Americans' choice of words.

It's colour not color.

It's football, not soccer.

It's lift, not elevator.

It's school, not shooting range.

Americans have some weird slang...

Like calling shooting ranges high schools

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