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Sheikh Jokes

The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.

He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
...

So a German, an Englishman and an Irishman

were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze when they were arrested by Saudi police. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so they are all sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to app...

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An Arab and a Jew

There was an Arab oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being AB+ it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to g...

Sheikh on the top of a building

A Sheikh was walking on the terrace of a building, when he heard the door behind him open. A sad voice followed,

"Sheikh Ahmed, I am sorry for breaking this to you. Your only daughter ran away with the son of a grocery store owner. I hear she was pregnant. Your wife had a heart attack and is ...

A priest, a rabbi and Muslim sheikh walk into a bar

The bartender asks "What is this, some kind of joke?

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. T...

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Golf Player and Saudi Prince

A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back of the robber's head, knocking him unconscious.

"You probably saved my life," says the grateful Arab. "I am a member of the Saudi Royal Family...

An Arab sheikh in a hotel...

An Arab sheikh was once visiting London. He was staying at a grand hotel. He was by himself and didn't know English very well.

Just as he jumped on the bed, a mouse scurried out from under. He was confused at first, then terrified. He used the phone on the side stand to call room service. Th...

A rich Arab oil sheikh discovers he has a rare form of blood cancer

He scours the world looking for a match for his blood type, which is also rare. He discovers a Scottish man as a match and the Scottish man agrees to donate blood to him.

The sheikh rewards him with lavish gifts; fancy cars, a mansion and the finest luxury clothes.

Two years later, the...

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A palestinian calls a sheikh for religious advice..

A palestinian called a sheikh and asked: "If we liberate Palestine and Al Aqsa, then we catch an israelian woman soldier and fuck her, would that be halal?" The sheikh replied "You liberate Palestine and you can fuck my mom too"

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A Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study...

A Sheikh's son goes to Germany to study and a month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: *"Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit embarassed to arrive to school with my gold plated Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."*

Sometime later he...

An Arab Sheikh sends his son to France for his studies. A year later the son comes back but the Sheikh realises that something is bothering his son. After some questioning, the son tells his father that he goes to college in his Porsche but the other students come by train. It's not right.

The Sheikh feels terrible, hugs his son and says, 'Don't worry son... I'll buy you a train today!'

Just came back from Dubai where a sheikh offered me 30 camels for my wife.

I usually smoke Marlboro but who could resist an offer like that?

The Rabbi and the Sheikh

A wealthy Sheikh who was travelling in the US met a terrible accident and would need to undergo blood transfusion. The Sheikh had a rare type of blood that the doctor's had never encountered before.
They made tests from several donors but found no match, days passed and the Sheikh's health was g...

Sheikh was talking to his travel agent....

Sheikh: I am about ready for a vacation. Only this year, I am going to do it a little differently....

The last few years, I have been taking your advice on where to go....

Three years ago you said go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and spent some days and my wife Razia got pregnant........

The Scotsman and the sheikh

A wealthy Arab Sheikh was admitted to hospital for heart surgery, but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his type of blood in case the need arose.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally, so, the call went out.
Finally a Scotsman was located...

Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert.

Bob and Steve, happened to be lost in Arabian desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque.

Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is
Mohammad, and you say that your name is Ahmed, this way we'll get some food! Deal?"

Steve s...

there was a Saudi guy

Who was studying in Pennsylvania University.
His father was one of the richest Sheikh in middle East.
Everyday he comes to his college in his own Ferrari GT 250 while the others use public transport.
This makes him quite uncomfortable and sad.

One day he texts his dad and says " ...

What would you call a Muscular Arab?

A Protein Sheikh

What did they call the arab dairy farmer who became the chief?

A milk sheikh



Figured I had 6 min for my cake day, and for some reason that was the joke that popped in my head

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Told to me by my Muslim father

A Sheikh is sleeping with one of the women in his harem, when she says, "Sheikh, could you put it in my mouth?"

The Sheikh denies, saying "I cannot, for your mouth is where 'Allahu Akbar' comes from".

She nods, understanding.

A little bit later she says, "Sheikh, could you pu...

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Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia...

One day they stumbled into a tent filled with over one hundred beautiful women.

They started getting naked and friendly with the women, when suddenly, a sheikh came in.

"I am the master of all these women, no one else can touch them except for me. You three men must pay for what you ha...

What do you get when you cross slow dancing with Arabic royalty?

Dancing Sheikh to Sheikh.

When the sultan entered his harem unexpectedly

his wives let out a terrified sheikh!

What did the Muslim say when we got scared?

I’m sheikh-ing

^(I’m sorry)

What do you call an Arabic dairy farmer?

A milk sheikh.

What did the Arab leader drink every day to build muscle mass?

A protein sheikh.

Two Christians Were walking in the desert....

They began to feel very hungry and thirsty. Then they saw a nearby mosque. Their names were Chris and Michael and Chris suggested to change names to Muslim names so they would give them food. Chris changed his to Ahmed but Michael refused and didn't change it. They approached the Sheikh of the mosqu...

What do you call an Arab who built his wealth by selling dairy products?

A milk-sheikh

James Bond retired and turned down a knighthood in England to live in Afghanistan where he became one of the most important men in the middle east.

Turns out he wanted to be Sheikh'en, not Sirred.

What do you call an Arab who owns 5,000 cows

A Milk Sheikh.

What do you call a Saudi prince smoking a joint?

Sheikh n' bake.

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What do you call a female middle eastern stripper?

Sheikha Bouti

What do you call a male middle eastern stripper?

Sheikh Madiq

An Arab prince acquires a dairy farm

He's known far and wide as the Milk Sheikh

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A woman is standing in a food line in Soviet Russia.

As she's walking home two hours later, a limo pulls up next to her and an Arab sheikh steps out.

"I am the king of one of the wealthiest countries of the world. I liked you the moment I laid eyes on you, and I would like you to join my harem." he says.

The woman replies. "The last thin...

What's a Saudis favourite drink?

Milk sheikh

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