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Secs Jokes

I nutted in my girlfriend in 3.14 secs

She asked me, what just happened to which i replied “cream π” .

I just gave my gf the best 1hr 30 secs of her life

Shoutout to daylight saving time

I just got fired for trying to be flexible at work.

My manager asked me to give him a sec so I told him, "I'll give you all the secs you need."

My partner was afraid that I was cheating, which I wasn’t.

She came to me one evening, very serious. I knew something was going on. She asked, in that tone that instantly puts a lump in your throat, “I suspect you’ve been unfaithful. Do you have a sec to talk?”

I wanted her to know she has my full attention, so I replied, “I have a lot of secs!”
<...

My boss knocked on my office door and asked if I had a sec...

I told her I have lots of secs. Now I'm looking for a job.

A man bids on a rare antique, item 23 in the catalogue, upon which he is incorrectly named the winner of the auction; the error is fixed five seconds later

Won two three for five secs.

OP. Got kicked off an electrical job today.

Lady wanted me to check the light fixture in her bedroom. I set up my ladder under the fixture and removed the cover, then asked if she could turn on the switch at the door. Being out in hallway, she said, “Give me a sec.” I smiled and told her I’d give her all the ‘secs’ she wanted.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What porn site category is SFW at this government office?

Butt SECs

What was the tiny golf course measured in?

Par secs

Race car driver Niki Lauda died today.

He was buried by his pit crew, 3.4 secs later.

Did you hear about that geeky trigonometry expert?

The only angle lacking in his life was secs.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bob and his wife.

Bob and his wife have been married for 2 years and bob has forgotten their anniversary both times.

Well after another year comes by bob forgets again. Bob’s wife is pissed off and threatened to get a divorce.

Wife- “Bob if there isn’t a present in that drive way that goes from 0 to 2...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex.....

Daddy is digging in the flower bed when little seven-yr-old Alice comes running out of the house, shouting, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He slowly drops his spade, straightens up and draws a deep breath. "Well, darling, it's like this... " he says, and starts rather reluctantly, giving a long and car...

A girl walks into a bar...

A girl walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a double entendre." So the bartender gives her Triple Secs.

Misunderstood

An old joke ..hope you guys enjoy it..

A really hot, young lady was sitting on a park bench and sucking on a popsicle cooling off the summer heat. A young man sitting next to her is staring in amazement at the young woman sucking on the popsicle. Getting annoyed at the young man's gaze, the ...

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