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School Shooting Jokes

Why aren’t school shooting jokes funny?

They’re too easy a target, and aimed at a very young audience..
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Why are there no school shootings in Afghanistan?

America already bombed the schools.
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Back in my day we didn’t call them school shootings

We called them surprise hide and seek
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I'd make a school shooting joke but...

...most of them are already dead
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I told a school shooting joke at a PTA meeting, but it fell flat.

I think I'll aim for a different crowd.
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Jokes about school shootings aren't funny. Seriously, my brother died in one. I even remember his last words.

"You'll never take me alive, pigs!"
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It's never a good idea to joke about school shootings

They're a loaded topic
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School shooting rates in America have dropped by crazy amounts over the past 2 months

The Summertime truly does bring miracles
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America has figured out a way to stop school shootings

It's called "Summer Break"
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After 23 school shootings in 2018

We did it. We finally banned straws.
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Why do so many American kids die in school shootings?

They're not allowed to run in the halls.

[-Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpxmKKtbw7w)
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social distancing is great, public school shootings are down 100%

Unfortunately home school shootings are up 100%
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It's been a few weeks since the last school shooting.

Oh, it's summer.
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I was planning a school shooting, but had to cancel it because of the virus.

Apparently filming school documentaries isn't "essential".
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I told my dad about the school shooting today

I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day
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I just figured out why USA is about to ban abortion (dark)

That's to have more targets for their school shootings
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What can the coronavirus do that the us government can't?

Stop school shootings
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I'm trying to understand how there can be so many school shooting jokes on Reddit...

But I guess everyone's aiming at a younger crowd.
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I recently Learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.

Apparently the term 'School photos' is more acceptable.
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Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings.

Corona did what Trump promised
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How do you end school shootings?

Release a virus.
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My brother didnt like the school shooting jokes I was making

I think I should aim for a younger audience.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The only school shooting I do.

Is heroin in math class.

I never get school shooting jokes.

Maybe they're aimed at a younger audience.
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Why can't you tell school school shooting jokes in the US?

Because it's always too soon.
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What would Ted Cruz have done in the school shooting if he was the responding police officer?

He would have packed his bags and leave for Cancun, citing his daughters don't go that school.
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In schools with no tolerance policies...

Do all the survivors go to jail after a school shooting?
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How to end school shootings while making both sides happy

Ban the children
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Hey ya know what the good thing about schools shutting down is?

We might hit a new record for longest time without a school shooting!
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Coronavirus outbreak is actually good news for America.

School shooting incidents decrease drammatically in 2020.
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Americans like to fish by shooting guns at big groups of fish from their boats.

They call it "School Shootings".
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Yo mama so stupid she heard about a school shooting and thought it was picture day

Zing?
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Congratulations USA

Zero school shootings so far this year.
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I'm 45 and I can't get school shooting jokes even though I have lived in America my entire life

I asked my friend and he said it's probably because they are aimed at a younger audience
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What's the best part about summer in the U.S.?

3 months of no school shootings.
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Say what you want about Trump...

...but he’s brought school shootings down to zero for more than an entire month.
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I was in a school shooting

So glad I was because now I'm vaccinated
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Reintroducing "All the children" jokes

This is a blatant repost because a year ago, I had a day full of laughs because of this thread, so I would like to give credit to /u/joschon for blessing us all with this a year ago.


Here in Sweden, there's a classic joke cycle called "All the children-jokes". They're kind of like limeric...
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School shootings in the U.S. have only increased in frequency in the past few years

Between the increased interest in photography class and the heroin epidemic, I've lost enough friends
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Who knew that all it took was one bat from China...

... to completely eradicate the USA's school shooting problem!
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Why would Donald Trump run into an active school shooting, even if unarmed?

Because he knows one of his supporters would never shoot him
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On the plus side to this whole pandemic

I haven’t heard of any school shootings this year
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What has gone down since carona virus has showed up?

School Shootings
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There is one good thing about Covid

We haven't heard about school shootings in US for three months if not more.
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Someone I know went to a very expensive, exclusive private school.

These kids are so rich, they hire hitmen to do their school shootings.
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What do you call a fisherman fishing with a gun

A school shooting
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What is the one thing that we will never see happening in the U.S.?

School shooting...


where the shooter is eating a Kinder Surprise Egg.
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It' summer time, you know what that means...

No more school shootings for 2 months
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A Bus Stop

On a bus stop in Washington DC, there were a cop, a nurse, a man in a suit, a philosopher and a priest. The cop spoke first:

Cop: ”Is this the right bus stop to Congress hill?”

Man in suit: ”yes”

Cop: ”Good. As it happens, there was this school shooting incident last week; I was...
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So everyone's complaining about the effects of the Corona Virus, But I say we look at the Silver linings.

School Shootings are at an all time low! Now I call that winning
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